Inspiration: Part One

Lately I've been finding inspiration in places I didn't expect. I love when that happens. For the longest time I have been seeking some inspiration and I just wasn't finding it. I don't know exactly what I was looking for, but I needed something. Anything. I just needed to be inspired. Perhaps I thought inspiration would show itself to me in a certain way, and when I wasn't seeing it, I didn't recognize it when it did come. Perhaps it is like the saying goes, that when you stop looking for something, it's then that you find it. Either way, it feels good to be inspired.

For many years I've had a strong interest in baking, gardening, sewing, crafting and making things by hand. It wasn't until recently when these things started becoming a passion for me, especially as I was learning about the homesteading (or back-to-the-land) movement and how many people were making changes to embrace a simpler life, one that resembled a lot what our Grandparents or Great-Grandparents lives may have looked like, and one that was self sufficient. Slowly I've been making small changes and doing things like composting, growing a few veggies, living frugally, and not driving as much in an effort to be kinder to the planet. It wasn't until I started reading up on homesteading that I realized it was that lifestyle I was really after. It had a name. And I wanted in.

I didn't grow up living in a house filled with family members happily baking alongside each other in the kitchen. My Mom and Step-Dad both worked full time outside of our home and weren't around all that much. We didn't grow our own food. All we grew were flowers, and not even edible ones. The only time we used our wood-burning fireplace was once in awhile for special occasions. The norm for our house was to retreat to our respective bedrooms and watch TV. As was the norm for most other homes I visited, whether they were friends or family. The only real exposure I got to baking was in home economics class in highschool, and on the occasion that my Mom wasn't too tired and felt like baking, us kids got to watch. When I had my children the same patterns began repeating themselves. Traditions were never passed down to me so that I could pass them on to my children, and skills were never carried down the generational line. Or so I thought.

In sort of a haunting way, I've been thinking a lot about my Grandparents on my Father's side, who have both passed away. I typically only got to see them once in awhile when my Father had visitation of me and if we went to visit them. As a child, those visits were precious and I loved my Grandparents dearly. They were the type of Grandparents I would have dreamed of having if they weren't mine. They were sweet, soft-spoken, old-fashioned and lovely. And they loved me like crazy. As I got older, the visits slowed, and when I became a Mom myself with all of it's busyness, I no longer made time for them. I know I took them for granted, foolishly thinking they would be around for a long time. Now that they are gone, so is my opportunity to nourish that relationship. They have been gone for some time now, but for whatever reason, I've been plagued with vivid memories of the time I spent with them, which almost always leaves me sobbing into my pillow at night over how much I miss them, and how much I missed out on. Memories that I had forgotten all about, now play over and over again in my mind as clear as day. I remember the way my Grandma dressed, always in skirts no shorter than her knees and beautiful blouses tucked in and buttoned up to her neck. She always had her snow white hair pulled up into a bun. I remember only ever seeing her with her hair down once, during a sleepover at her house and she was getting ready for bed. Her hair flowed down past her waist, and I remember how beautiful I thought she looked. My Grandpa loved to show me his garden. They lived in a beautiful mobile home in a sweet little mobile home park. Their backyard was small, but they made room to grow quite a bit of food next to their umbrella clothesline. Grandpa would always take me out back and show me how well his radishes were doing, or he would sneak a strawberry off the plant for me to eat while Grandma was inside cooking dinner. It was always our little secret. Grandma's dinners were always unbelievably delicious, with as much of it made from scratch as possible. You could taste the love in her meals, and dinner at their house was something I always looked forward to. Following dinner we almost always played some sort of game. Our favorites were usually Skip-Bo, Uno, Cribbage, or Tiddley Winks. They had a TV, but didn't watch it much. From time to time Grandpa would watch bowling or a golf game, but usually he would be found napping on the couch in the afternoon, or puttering in the garden or in his shed. Grandma spent her free time reading her Bible, usually in the morning before anyone else awoke. When I would wake in the morning I would come out to the table and be greeted with toast and juice, and Grandma's Bible would be open on the table. On Sundays she attended a home church near by, but never preached to me. Not even once. She lived out her faith everyday, which looking back on now spoke much louder than words ever could have. My Grandpa taught me how to swim in the mobile park's pool and afterward we would walk back to their home to do a puzzle together. He loved his puzzles. Grandma taught me to knit and crochet, and instilled in me a love for crafting, and for old-fashioned/vintage decor. Their house had doilies and lace curtains, gorgeous (and tasteful) shag carpet, an arborite table in their dining room, pantings and house plants everywhere, two china cabinets and a spoon collection, and just about every other currently collectible item circa the 1950's that you could ask for. She also had a sewing room that dreams were made of. Their life was simple, and they were more than willing to share it with whoever wanted to be a part of it. They didn't live a self-sufficient lifestyle, but they introduced me to what was possible by living simply. They taught me skills that I can pass down to my children, and my children's children. They taught me to slow down and take time to enjoy the beauty of nature, to enjoy the closeness of family, to deepen my faith. Because of their willingness to share it, they planted deep within me a desire to do the same. Most imporantly I think, is that they taught me a different side to the life I was accustomed to, and showed me a better way of doing things. Growing up I took these lessons for granted, and forgot most of them. Now, these lessons have flooded back and no longer will I take them for granted. Instead, I will run with them. I will pass on the traditions they left with me.

I never thought inspiration would find me in the form of memories, but it did. Out of the blue, and completely unexpected. What a blessing my Grandparents were, and continue to be, in my life. What an inspiration.

Hello Cable-Free Life

The last two weeks in my home have been glorious. Why, you might ask? Well I did something that I've wanted to do for a very long time, and finally after several arguments with myself, I cancelled our cable. I have to say it is the best decision I have made in a very long time. At first it wasn't easy. There was a lot of this happening inside my head:

"Okay. NOW is the time, cable needs to go. I'm sick of it, I hate it, and I don't want it anymore"...

10 seconds later-

"Well, maybe I'll just get rid of the digital cable package and hold on to basic cable, just in case I need a TV fix. And I'll definitely NEED to watch the news. A person can't live in this world without up to the minute information on what is happening on the other side of the planet.......right??"

7 seconds later-

"NO. No-no-no-no. The point of cancelling cable is to CANCEL the cable. The basic package is not necessary and I don't need it."

5 seconds later-

"..........but what about that show 'Parenthood'??? It's getting really good now and I can't miss the next episode because the one girl is dating that guy behind her parents back and now she's gone and run away from home just so she can date him and......oh screw it. Cable's going." 

You know what the really sad thing is? I had conversations like that with myself for DAYS. It really shocked me at just how addicted I was to a box in the corner of my living room. What sealed the deal for me though, was seeing the immediate change in my kids just as soon as the power came on on the TV. They were instantly transformed into zombies, unaware of their surroundings and put into a state of complete mush-brain. It could have almost been turned into a game. Turn the TV off, they snap out of it and start playing. Turn the TV on, they freeze, flop onto whatever piece of furniture is the closest to the TV, and are motionless and unresponsive. I could have had fun with that. Anyway. After convincing myself that neither me or my children were going to die from lack of television provided entertainment, I made the announcement that there would be no more Dog the Bounty Hunter or Billy the Exterminator, and that was that. Not a whine or cry was to be had by anyone, surprisingly. The first day without the TV on was a tiny bit strange. There was a quiet in the house that wasn't typical, and of course we were all left up to our own devices to keep ourselves occupied. It turns out it wasn't that hard of a thing to do. I started catching up on books that I've been "too busy" (because of watching TV) to read, and Gabe and Vaeh started getting along in a way that I don't see very often. I started noticing that we would sort of migrate to the same areas to be near each other, even if we were doing our own things. I would be in my cozy chair reading a book, Vaeh would pull out a puzzle and find a spot on the floor right by the chair I was sitting in, and Gabe would put together a stack of books and plant himself right next to his sister on the floor. There would be this blissful, content quiet throughout the whole house while this happened; all of us peacefully enjoying our chosen activity but also silently enjoying the closeness of each other. We are a very close family as it is, but this was something new for us, and it was beautiful.

I can't say that TV has been non-existent in our home as we have started a nightly routine of watching Little House on the Prairie on DVD every night before the kids' bedtime. Does that even count though? And if I am absolutely desperate for a TV fix, there are always programs out there like Netflix and of course online. I can honestly say though, that we haven't missed one second of not having cable in our home, and it makes me wonder why I didn't do this ages ago. The last two weeks have been filled with baking, reading, crafting, conversations, cuddles under blankets, story telling by the fireplace, and a terrific feeling of freedom. I can't recall a time in my entire life where I didn't have cable. I grew up in front of a TV so it's no wonder why I was addicted, and the fact that it played such a prominent role in my life made me wonder if I could even do this without breaking out into a cold sweat and calling the cable company, begging for my service to be restored while I'm curled up in the fetal position. Let me tell you, if I can do this anyone can. It really does feel like breaking free from an addiction. It's a sad thing that something like cable can have such a grip on people, and I'm so glad I'm no longer one of those people.

Goodbye cable. Hello life.

Enjoying a Slower Pace

Yes, after the hustle and bustle of Christmas it seems we are headed into recovery mode. Finally.

Last week we celebrated Vaeh's 8th birthday (how on earth did that happen so quickly???) so there was a bit of excitement and a lot going on. Over the last few years we had decided not to celebrate birthdays with traditional parties, but instead rather, celebrating as a family and marking the day a 'special day'. The birthday child picks ahead of time special activities they would like to do that day, and then afterward we head to a toy shop and they get to pick out a birthday gift. This year Vaeh picked bowling (5 pin) and a movie (Disneys Tangled). It was a great, fun filled day. She picked out a doll from the toy shop, and Grandma (who came along with us) had her pick out a new outfit as well. As per our tradition, her 'special day' started off with a 'special breakfast' of her choice: belgian waffles topped with blueberries and syrup, and sparkling rasperry-grape juice.

                     



She said with the tablecloth, the rose and the meal, it felt like we were at a super fancy restaurant. It really did. And the best part is, we didn't pay a super fancy restaurant price tag.

Now that her birthday has passed, we can slow down even more and gain some perspective on life and on our lifestyle. For a long time I've been craving a simpler life; one that is slow yet steady, relaxed yet productive, and most importantly: wholesome. I get easily caught up in consumerism. I get easily swayed by "advice" from outside sources telling me how I "should" be doing things when every fibre of my being wants nothing to do with it. I get sucked in to the influence of the media. I get busy. Crazy busy. And I want off that ride. I've been taking steps to get to the life I've always pictured in the back of my mind, but I feel like it's time to go a bit further, be a bit more brave and not hold back. So what is this life I want to be living? Well it involves several things. Many of them might seem small and insignificant, but they are just small pieces that when put together, create the bigger picture. The picture of happiness, contentment, self sufficiency, inspiration, beauty, family, quality, health and happiness.

These are some things I have been doing, and plan on doing very soon:

• Going TV Free. This is something I've struggled with a lot over the last couple of years. I hate TV, yet I can't stop watching it. I find most of it meaningless, pointless, fake and damaging, yet I still watch it. It interferes with productivity, it promotes laziness and it turns people into real-life zombies. Must I go on? I hate TV, so cable must go.

• "Use it up, Wear it out, Make do, or Do without". I first heard this quote on a blog I subscribe to called The Non-Consumer Advocate.  We are a throw-away society, and we are conditioned to believe that we need the latest, newest, thingymabob on the market in order to feel good about ourselves. I'm flat-out rebelling against that idea.

• Making It Myself. I'm challenging myself to make as many things as I can myself. As much as I would love to go all out in this area by making EVERYTHING myself, and believe me that is very tempting for me, I know that isn't possible if I plan on sleeping at all. Sleeping is kind of necessary. If there is something me or the kids want or need, I'm going to do my best to make it myself.

• Growing Food and Canning. Each year I add a little bit more to my tiny backyard/patio garden. This year I would like to double it and make most of my yard into a garden. Movements like Food Not Lawns inspire me to grow more food and have less lawn. Canning is something I've wanted to learn to do for a very long time, but never got around to. There is something so appealing about it to me.

• Healthy Diet, Healthy Living, Less Meat. I'm not a vegetarian, nor am I trying to become one. I really do enjoy meat, but it is expensive, and this frugalista doesn't like expensive. By cutting back on how much meat we eat that helps to lower the cost of groceries. Also, I've seen the documentary Food, Inc. enough times to make me question the food that I buy and where I buy it from, especially meat. The past few weeks I've made some major changes in the foods that I eat, cutting out as much junk as possible and eating real food, not dinner-in-a-box or processed garbage. Traditional, wholesome (there's that word again!) food. I've cut coffee out of my diet and have been drinking water, green tea, and the occasional sparkling juice. I take my vitamins daily, I've been exercising and have been incorporating more legumes into our meals. All of these changes have resulted in me feeling fantastic. I feel rested in the morning when I wake up, I have much more energy than I did before and my daily headaches (which I discovered were from the coffee, and probably the junk I was eating) are gone.

• Unscheduling and Proper Planning. In our house we fall victim to overscheduling. Taking on too much. Signing up for classes, making more committments than we have the time or energy for, continuously running errands because of poor planning (fail to plan, plan to fail). It isn't necessary and it has to stop. Simplifying life has a lot to do with simplifying schedules. My kids don't need to be signed up for every activity out there, nor do I. I don't need to make 3 trips to the store in a week, one should be enough. We've already begun to cut back on our scheduling and our committments, and it feels like a weight has been lifted.

• Seek Inspiration. I have a very creative soul. When I was younger I used to create things all the time. I would sew, draw, color, write, daydream, glue, paint. As I got older, those things started to fade and now I struggle with finding inspiration to be creative. I'm sure a lot of that has to do with TV watching (did I mention it zaps creativity?) but there is a block somewhere, much to the tune of writers block. My imagination seems to have disappeared on me, and I'm desperate to get it back. I feel lost without creativity. A big piece of me is missing.

Those are just some things I am working on, and more will come I'm sure. I'm definitely excited about putting all of these things into place, and more. I'm excited to see how this year will unfold, and how much different life will look the same time next year. More than anything, I'm looking forward to the pace. Slow. Slow and steady. Wasn't there a book written about that? :)

One Year Passes, Another Begins

It's New Year's Eve. The very last day that we will ever see 2010. Here I sit with my kids, all of us in our new Christmas PJ's, me typing away, them watching How to Eat Fried Worms on Netflix. It's just another night in our home, and it's just the way I like it. Last year I pretty much did the same thing, and spent New Years Eve with my little family. If we make it to midnight I will be very surprised, but it's not my goal. My goal for this evening is just to be. To surround myself with what matters most to me, and do the things we enjoy the most; being together, watching movies, snuggling, giggling, and not worrying about what the year has held or what the next year will bring. Yes, there are many exciting things already in the works that will play out in 2011 and if you continue to read my blog you will be able to follow along as those things unfold. But tonight that isn't my focus. I will wake up tomorrow like I wake up every other day, God willing. Tonight, well...tonight the highlights of my evening will be watching my son fall asleep in my arms, kissing my daughter's forehead and tucking her into bed, and making sure they both know how lucky I am to have them. That is something to celebrate.

All the best to all of you. Happy New Year :)

xoxoxo

Advent Activities

Well, as promised, I am sharing our activities for Advent. I hope maybe some or all of them will inspire or encourage you and your family to put a little bit of focus on togetherness, and maybe start your own tradition of an Activity Advent. Along with our activities, we also will be doing a Nativity Advent, which is 7 days long and will be interspersed with our activities throughout the month.

Here are the activities, in no particular order:

*Light the Lake- there is a lake just walking distance to my house that is surrounded by trees. In December the city lights up some of the trees with lights, and has vendors and activities set up in tents alongside the lake. It's a fun, low-cost activity (free admission, the only cost would be to buy things like hot chocolate or goodies).

*Make Paper Snowflakes- something so simple is so much fun. A great family activity and the bonus is you get to decorate your house afterward with your new creations.

*Light Up the Square- another 'light up' activity, but this one is a bit different. In our city there are a number of 'squares' or city centers (very small cities) that the city lights up. This one will have music, treats, arts and crafts, a lantern celebration, storytelling, cookie decorating, and my favorite; a tour of a historic house that is now a museum. Here we will have the opportunity to learn about old traditions, homesteading and how Christmas was celebrated and how a house was run in the early 1900's. It is rich with history, a perfect homeschooling opportunity, and something I really love to do.

*Bake Cookies Together- I think that one speaks for itself? Vaeh and Gabe both love to help out in the kitchen, especially when it involves baking.

*Donate Items to Shelter and/or Food Bank- remembering Christmas isn't just about us, incorporating a spirit of giving in with our celebrating is very important.

*Candlelit Dinner- another simple activity that could surprise you with the amount of joy it can bring, especially to little ones

*Craft Night- we all love crafts in this house, but more often than not we just don't get time to sit down and focus on a family craft

*Trip To the Library- we do this fairly often and the kids love it, but to make it an "event", we make it just a bit more fun. We'll bundle up and walk there instead of drive (about a 15 minute walk), and after we spend a significant amount of time there, we will pop over to the coffee shop on the corner right beside the library and sit and enjoy hot drinks

*Family Portrait- our first family portraits ever taken were in the summer of 2009, so there aren't many. A Christmas themed family portrait is definitely necessary

*Christmas Light Drive- something we all look forward to in the months before December. We compile a newspaper provided list of local Christmas light displays, and go on a driving tour of them all in one night, drinking hot chocolate or hot apple cider as we go. Last year we found some AMAZING walk-through displays complete with popcorn machines, cotton candy and hundreds of thousands of lights. Brilliant!

*Make Christmas Cards for Vaeh's Friends

*Paint Homeschool Room- we have been hard at work putting together our new homeschool room where the kids can have a dedicated space for learning together, or a quiet space for learning. This may not seem like a fun, Christmas-related activity, but Vaeh has been itching to have it painted, and to help me paint it, so this will definitely be a fun one for her.

*Wrap Presents for the Family -this is something else that can be overlooked as a fun time to spend with your kids. Of course you don't want to wrap their presents in front of them, but wrapping other family members gifts is a fun way to spend an evening.

*Make Gingerbread Pieces for Gingerbread Houses- a tradition in our house is to make gingerbread houses. This year I committed to making all of the pieces so we can actually EAT the houses (store bought kits are a bit on the stale side)

*Assemble Gingerbread Houses and Read Christmas Stories- fire included

*Christmas Eve Service at Church

*Bake Goodies For Family- another tradition. We always bake fun and delicious goodies for family members as part of their gifts. Last year we did Candied Orange Peels and they were a hit. This year we haven't decided yet, but I will most definitely post about it here.

*Winter Walk- this will be a walk where we go out and collect beautiful pieces of nature that remind us of the winter season and of Christmas. We'll then use these items in our craft night.

*Paint Window Scene- every year I paint the window at the front of our house with a Christmas related scene. This year Vaeh has told me how much she would love to help me paint, so we are making an activity out of it

*Mystery Events- these are sort of my saving-grace, so to speak. I have a few of these ones, and any time where I need to postpone an event or change the event schedule do to unforeseen instances, I pop one of these into a calendar pocket and when it comes time to pull it out, we brainstorm as to what we should do for an activity that day. It is very helpful too if a community event comes up that I wasn't aware of, I can replace one event with the Mystery Event label and we attend the new event that day.

*Christmas Movie Night With A Cozy Fire and Hot Chocolate- our favorite Christmas movie (or movies) will be watched. Some of them include A Christmas Story, The Polar Express and Home Alone.

*Toy Workshop in the Kid's Room- in an effort to keep clutter to a minimum, and to make sure the kids don't have more than they need, each year before Christmas we go into the kids room and go through their toys, bagging up things they no longer play with or want/need and we donate them. As awful as this may sound for a child-related activity, the kids really enjoy doing this and don't complain at all. They know that in order to have new gifts come in, we have to get rid of stuff we just don't need anymore.

*Vaeh and Gabe's Christmas Shopping- this will be an evening for the kids to do their shopping for family members.

*Game Night- the kids get to choose whatever game(s) they want to play and we all sit down together and play

It can be difficult to plan a full month of activities in advance. Doing this involves having a regular calendar on hand so you can see any classes or activities you may already have going on, so you don't double-book yourself in a sense, and so you ensure you don't cancel an activity because you forgot about dance class or Bible study or what have you. For us, Vaeh has a girls club she attends at our church every Thursday evening, so those evenings will have to have the activity completed during the day, or it will have to be something that can be accomplished before she heads off to her group. Also, activities that involve traveling and admission fees may want to be set up for a weekend, and/or around a payday if things are a bit on the tighter side of things in your house (which they are for most of us, especially around Christmas!). I make sure the kids don't know what the activities are ahead of time, so if I need to change around activities they aren't disappointed. It also feeds into the element of surprise and excitement, so that is a big bonus! We always pull out the day's activity on the morning of that day. This is very helpful and I highly recommend it.

I think the most important thing about the Activity Advent, is to focus on what your children really really love to do, and run with that. Also, if there were certain traditions you have been wanting to incorporate into your family, but weren't sure how to incorporate it or you weren't sure if it would be well received, having it as one of the advent activities can be a great way to do this and try it out. By incorporating this tradition into our family it has helped immensely to take the focus off of presents and receiving, and has put the focus on spending time together as a family, about growing closer, and about how we can do things for others. That right there is the best gift I could possibly receive for Christmas. 

Forgive Me If I Make No Sense

I woke up this morning with a cold. Fun. My head has been spinning all day, so I will do my best to put together a proper post. I apologize in advance if that doesn't happen.
As much as I *try* to take care of myself, I forget to take my vitamins every day, I don't get enough exercise, and I am a child care provider. What does this mean? I tend to get sick more than I like to. But not to worry. In the short term, I've been having spoonfuls of raw honey, drinking plenty of green tea and getting lots of rest. In the long term, I plan on fixing the vitamin and exercise problem. The daycare thing I'm kind of stuck with.

I've had a busy week. So what else is new! It's been a week of household projects and there have been quite a few. I've done some wallpapering, some painting and staining of furniture, some organizing of storage closets, and have been working on putting together a homeschool room out of the spare room in my house. I've also spent this week helping Vaeh and Gabe put together shoeboxes for the Samaritan's Purse: Operation Christmas Child program. Each year around the same time we fill shoeboxes full of goodies for less fortunate children in other countries and the children receive them by Christmas. Last year we did 2 shoeboxes, this year we did 4. I attempted to do 5 but I just couldn't get it done in time.



It has been a great experience doing this with my kids, and I'm hoping that I instill into them a heart for giving. I see it developing in Vaeh. For awhile Gabe seemed to think that I was filling up shoeboxes for him and got quite upset with me when I tried to tell him otherwise. I think he finally got it though as today he began filling up the 5th empty box we had with his own toys, saying he was filling his shoebox for kids. I think it's really important that we do things like this with our children, and show them there is more to life than ourselves. Not only did we shop for the items together, but we filled the boxes together, and while we filled the boxes we talked about the children who would get them. When the shoeboxes were ready to go, we prayed over them together that each shoebox would reach just the right child that was meant to have the items inside, and when it was time to drop the shoeboxes off at the church, we all carried them in. Even though they won't be able to see the end result of the children receiving the boxes, involving them in as much of the process as possible is a good start.

Well I will keep this post short and sweet, just like me, and get some more much needed rest. The hardest part for me with being sick is the not being able to get things done. Fingers crossed that changes quickly!

Nightynights
xo

Love Me Some Fall

Yesterday I was pleasantly surprised to find out I had the day off, so after breakfast the kids and I headed out for a walk to the mailbox and to play in some leaves. The streets in our neighborhood are covered in a gorgeous blanket of crunchy redness and it was just too hard to resist stomping on all of it. I thought it would be a great opportunity to collect some leaves for our compost bin as well.

 Composting has gone well for us and has been a fun experience. In the hot days of summer we encountered excessive amounts of fruit flies taking up home in the bin and that wasn't so pleasant. I'm still learning though and realized it was because I had too much food stuff in the bin, not enough browns (leaves, grass, newspaper, etc.) and I wasn't stirring. My bad. Now that the weather has cooled there is not a bug to be seen and the bin smells like wonderfully rich soil.

As we headed out yesterday, the kids couldn't contain their excitement for our walk. I don't know what it is, but my kids have a tendency to *always* run to the mailbox.

On our way back from the mailbox we headed for the leaves. I think they enjoyed themselves. What do you think?

 

As it turns out, we had a bit of an audience.

After our noses started to match the shade of the leaves on the ground, and our fingers curled up inside of our coat sleeves, we decided to head home. Within minutes of us taking off our shoes and coats, this is what it looked like outside.

 It was a lovely walk, and even lovelier to come back to a warm cozy home minutes before a rainfall. I love this time of year.

Time Away, Simplifying and Finished Projects

These last couple of weeks I decided to step back and take a bit of time away from all of the common day distractions that keep me so tied up time and time again. Mainly television and the computer. Instead of checking emails every 10 minutes, updating statuses every hour and watching garbage on TV, I dug into some wholesomeness and feel-good activities. Stuff I've really been needing mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I don't know about you, but I often feel so overwhelmed by all of the "stuff" out there that we all can't seem to live without these days. I find
myself anxious, flustered, stressed out and wired, like I've had too much coffee to drink. I really needed this. The first thing I did was grabbed my crochet hooks and got to work on a blanket for Gabe that I had been slowly piecing together. It was my first actual project and it took many, many, many hours to complete but once I did, wow. It felt fabulous. Working with my hands is so incredibly relaxing and therapeutic for me, so this was fantastic. Of course with crocheting being as addicting as it is, I also crocheted a produce bag and I'm working on a ring. Pictures to come. During the times when I am crocheting, Vaeh will put on a DVD of The Sound of Music and the three of us will cheerfully sing the songs together. Other times it will just be the sound of each of us doing our own thing together. Vaeh has been a very, very busy girl playing with her modelling clay, sculpting miniature watermelon and banana bunches for her miniature make-believe picnics in the park, or a row of hearts to show me "how much she loves me". The sound of creativity and fun is a much sweeter sound to fill the air then the sounds that come from the idiot box, as my Dad used to call it. I've been leaning closer and closer toward cancelling cable but I'm not quite there yet. In the meantime, long bouts of keeping it turned off is perfect.

After finishing Gabe's blanket I got motivated to do other things around the house that I've been meaning to get to. Namely, Vaeh's bedroom. Slowly but surely I've been working on each room of my house, painting and organizing, to put my touch on things and make my home as cozy and as reflective of me as possible. Not all rooms are completed, but I had done a lot of work on the living room, kitchen, powder room and my bedroom. I've been promising Vaeh a real bedroom for a few years now. When I was with my ex, we moved around so much because of his problems that Vaeh hasn't had a real bedroom. We never stayed anywhere long enough to decorate and make it her own. That really made me sad, especially since she wanted a room that was her own so badly. Every little girl wants a little girl room. The plan for her room was that she would share it with Gabe once he outgrew sharing my bed with me. Her room wouldn't comfortably accommodate two beds, so bunkbeds was the answer. I had an idea in my head of the type of bunkbeds I wanted to get for them but buying a new set was out of the question. I happened to be browsing Craigslist last week and low and behold, I found the perfect set. Thankfully I had a little money put away and I was able to get them. I don't have pictures to share yet but I will in the next few days. So with bunkbeds purchased, I picked out a paint color and got to painting their room. It took me all day to clear out their room, wash the walls, paint two coats of paint, let it dry and then assemble the beds, but it was so worth it. Doing things like this makes me really proud to be on my own. It makes me feel strong and completely capable of getting things done, feelings I didn't think I would have when I was just venturing out on my own as a single Mom. I'll be the first to admit that it does present a challenge, but it's not impossible. It's empowering. If you aren't being challenged, you aren't growing. Plain and simple. I'm incredibly grateful that I took the time to learn certain things throughout my life. I never left things like programming the DVD player, changing light fixtures in the house (involving rewiring), being tech savvy, home repair, etc., up to the guy. I always figured stuff out on my own (which is a big part of my personality) and it has helped me immensely.

Another thing I've been doing to create a little bit of mental peace is going grocery shopping early in the morning. Since we walk to the grocery store I decided it would probably be a good idea to do it earlier in the day. Traffic is calmer, the weather is cooler and the grocery store is near empty. Because I have daycare kiddies coming to my house in the morning I need to make sure we get home in time to welcome them. This is our shopping schedule:

-Leave home at 8:00am
-Get to store by 8:30am
-Shop until 9:00am
-Get home at 9:30am
-Welcome the kiddies around 10am

Some days I have kids arrive earlier than 10, so I plan our shopping trips to fall on days where they aren't coming until 10. This has worked out really, really well. The walking has been great, especially shortly after waking up. We typically don't have breakfast until we come home as I've found walking on an empty-ish stomach just feels better, in the daytime anyway. A walk after dinner feels great too. Shopping in a large grocery store that is almost empty is INCREDIBLE. I can't stand the lineups and chaos of packed stores, which is mostly why I avoid going to malls and shopping in general unless necessary. I have a very sensitive personality (see here and here about being highly sensitive) and things affect me more than the average person. It took me a long while to understand this, and now that I do I embrace it and love that I am highly sensitive. I don't always take care of this side of me though, and more often then not I get caught up in life and things and forget this very important part of me and before I know it I'm completely frazzled and overwhelmed. This will be something I work on for sure.

So I'm working on cutting back on things. A lot. I need more peace in my life and more things that stimulate me emotionally. I've committed to only checking emails twice a day, with the hopes to reduce that further to once a day in the near future. I'm working on reducing my aimless internet browsing to only looking up specific things when the need arises. This alone has cut back on my computer usage immensely. I only visit my Facebook page every other day or so and I've even gone as far as cleaning up my friends list, removing "friends" that I don't talk to regularly, if at all. So far I've removed almost half of my friends list, and I plan to do more. Simplifying to me isn't about making things easier. In fact, simplifying your life can be harder in the beginning, but it does get easier. Even exciting. Living simply is about cutting back and decluttering. Whether that be in your home, your office, your schedule, your mind, activities you participate in, your wardrobe, whatever. The old adage of "less is more" couldn't ring more true. And once you see the benefits of cutting back and/or organizing and/or decluttering one area of your life, you'll want to do more because it feels so good. I plan on doing much more.

Ants and My Final Week of Driving

Yesterday I had an exterminator come out to my house to investigate my ant problem and see what he could do. I told him my situation, he explained his 6 month guarantee of no ants, told me he used a non-toxic chrysanthemum-based spray, I said that all sounds like bliss, and he went right to work. 10 minutes later he was done. In just 10 minutes I was ant free. I could not believe my eyes!!! I searched everywhere for ants in my house and in my yard, and all I found was ONE in my kitchen, and it had already been meandering around for awhile, but moments later succumbed to his demise. If you've never had an insect problem before, I cannot express to you the absolute relief I am feeling. I feel like I have my house back from some force that was unstoppable. I really felt helpless, as funny as it sounds considering I was up against such a small creature. There is not one single ant to be found on my patio, where before there were soooo many. I never wanted to go out there, and that was really disappointing, because I've been working really hard at making my little backyard into a usable garden and a peaceful place to sit and enjoy long summer days and warm summer evenings. There were so many ants in my grass and in my dirt where my pretty little flowers are growing, it was really disheartening. Walking out there yesterday felt amazing! To top it off, last night I had the best night sleep. I didn't have one creepy-crawly feeling, no creepy-crawly dreams, and I slept ever so nicely. I am on cloud 9 today :)

This week marks the final week that my minivan will be insured. My insurance will be up on Sunday and then that's it. I've been working hard to get as much done as possible where I need the van, whether it be to pick up large items, or travel distances that are more difficult without a vehicle before I take it off the road. On Friday I am picking up a big compost unit that I'm purchasing from the city for $25.00, which I think is a great deal, and need the van to pick it up. I've been wanting to compost for quite some time now, but in all honesty thought they were a lot of work, I thought I didn't have the room, I thought you
had to use worms (and I don't have anywhere to bring them in to during the winter), I thought they attracted bears (which we have a lot of in my area, sometimes in my complex) and I thought they cost too much. After actually doing a bit of research on the subject, I found that they really aren't much work at all, and if I can re-purpose a lot of food waste into nutrient rich soil for my garden, instead of tossing it into a garbage can then hey, I'm a fan. I will definitely share my composting journey on my blog. Also on Friday I am picking up the bike trailer I talked about in a previous post. Lastly, on Saturday I am taking Gabe and Vaeh to see Toy Story 3 at the theater. We don't go to movies all that often mainly because of the cost, unless it is one that we have really been anticipating seeing. Toy Story 3 is for sure one of those movies, and yay me, I have a half price coupon for my admission! The theater isn't far via driving (about 10 to 15 minutes) but it is not at all accessible by bike with kids in tow and I'm not quite ready to tote the kids around on transit in certain areas of town because I just don't think it's totally safe for them, or for me. So these trips I'm okay using a vehicle for. After this weekend there won't be a trip to the theater for a long while, but luckily the mall just down the street from my house is having drive-in movie nights in the summer in their parking lot. We plan to bike-in :) There is also a company called FreshAirCinema that has an inflatable movie screen that they set up in parks throughout the Lower Mainland for people to come watch movies, totally for free. You bring chairs, blankets, toys for the kids, picnic stuff, whatever and you spend an evening chilling out in the park. I haven't been to one yet, but we will be all over this during the summer. I'm very excited to be parking my van. I'm excited about the challenge that lay before me. But more than anything, I'm thrilled that I'm taking a step away from my reliance on oil. Whenever I drive by the gas station and see the $1.12 per litre gas price (that's what it has been at for the last few days) I have a little giggle to myself knowing that very shortly I will no longer have to worry about that cost, and that feels good. Not only that, my health is going to improve as will my quality of life, my childrens' health will improve as will their quality of life, and I will have a little bit more money in my pocket, and that is always a good thing.

(photo courtesy of www.amsterdamize.com)

Cycling is Hard!

And I haven't even gotten started yet! I've spent the last week doing research. Yes, research. On bike riding. Gone are the days where you just hop on a bicycle and ride to your hearts content. No my friend. There are rules. Rules aplenty! One thing I did know was that here in BC it is a requirement by law to wear a helmet while cycling. After doing a little reading on the topic, I was led to one law after another after another. It's almost become overwhelming, and I can honestly see why so many people don't bother to park their car and hop on a bicycle. That, and the requirements seem downright scary. For example, cyclists are considered vehicles and are therefore required to ride on the road with traffic. It is illegal to ride on the sidewalk. Period. I get why this law was put into place, and it would make sense if there weren't so many flaws with it. One major flaw is the serious lack of separate bike lanes which I feel is very very important. The way our roads are designed here are for the most part ridiculous on their own, and adding a cyclist to the mix I think is crazy. Another thing is not all cyclists are hardcore cyclists. For many, the idea of riding a bike on a major roadway next to crazy, road raging monsters is just too much. I am one of those people. Yes, it has a lot to do with the fact that I haven't been on a bike since I was 13 years old. When I rode a bike there were no helmet laws and nobody gave a you-know-what if you rode on the sidewalk. That was where EVERYBODY rode. Well, except for those hard-core-er's. So coming into this is, well, a bit daunting to say the least. The other thing I have an issue with, is that my children are required by law to do the same thing, ride in traffic. Gabe will be in a trailer but even that scares me. He would be down near the ground with a front row seat of huge tires rolling right by him. Ummmmm. Yeah. Scary. Then there is Vaeh. My little 7 year old, dainty little flower girl, is required to ride her bike alongside traffic. NO. WAY. I'm sorry but law or no law, I'm not allowing my babies to be that close to cars whipping by. I keep getting these images flashing through my head of her hitting a bump or just losing control and falling off her bike. Bam. No more Vaeh. So if it comes down to me getting a ticket because my daughter, or all 3 of us are on the sidewalk, so be it. I'm sorry to anyone who is reading this that is an avid rider but the safety of my children are way more important than any law out there, especially when that law is actually putting them in harms way. Until there are more cyclists on the road, and until there is more infrastructure in place keeping a solid barrier between a cyclist and a car, you will find me and my family ever so carefully, respectfully and politely making our way past pedestrians on the sidewalk. Now, all of that said, I do plan on planning our routes ahead of time every time we go out so we aren't taking major roadways and instead finding paths through parks, down "dead-end" (to cars) roads and on traffic calmed streets to get to our destination. I just think it really sucks that there isn't much carefreeness (yes, it's a word) to our society, and we are all bogged down with so many rules. I know there are people who are pro-alltherules but I'm not. Sorry. But, I'm going to make the most of things because at least I am able to bike ride where I live, and do it for free. Who knows how long that will last.

On a very positive note, I bought a bike!!! I don't have any pictures yet
but I will share some soon, I promise. I'm waiting for a nice sunny day to take it outside and snap some pictures. It's been raining here for 752 days. Okay maybe not that many. It feels like it though. I found my bike on Craigslist for half the price it would be new, and my bike is only 6 months old. I think I totally lucked out finding it. My bike new in the store would be $800 including tax. No thank you. Factor in the fact that I am boycotting the HST as much as I possibly can, as it is already in effect on certain items, and I am one of many who are against it. So by buying my bike used I managed to avoid it. Yay me! Next thing I need to get is a trailer for Gabe. I've been browsing Craigslist and saw a few on there that I would like, and after doing my research on the best trailer to buy, I settled on a Croozer 535. Ideally I would LOVE to have a Chariot trailer (*drool*) but those puppies require one to take out a second mortgage on their house. Given that Gabe is already 2.5, he's only got a couple more years before he's out of a trailer and on to a bike of his own, or a trail-a-bike. The investment in a Chariot just isn't worth it to me, even for a used one. A Croozer is a close second to a Chariot, in my opinion, and about half the price. For the trailer I really wanted to buy a used one, again to avoid tax and to save money, but after seeing how old some of the trailers are that people are trying to sell, and after going to look at one in person and seeing how beat up it was, I decided I should go new in this area. Gabe's safety is the most important thing, and I don't want him riding around on bent wheels, and attachment wheels that no longer function. Both of those were problems with the one I looked at. And I don't know if the person I'm buying from put it together properly either! The Croozers are great because they come with all of the different attachments included, Chariots and other models you have to purchase each kit separately (ie: jogging stroller kit, stroller kit, etc.). That equals more money on top of an already expensive item. We're all about saving money here people. So I'm saving my pennies and hope to purchase this trailer in the next couple of weeks, just in time for the Teddy Bear Picnic that is coming up! I can't wait for summer. Mostly I can't wait for the rain to stop.

It's About Time

I've really been trying to set aside time to sit down and update my blog, but that has been such a challenge! It's always one thing after another and the next thing I know, months have passed.

A lot has happened. A lot has changed. A lot has been going on. I began dating someone and a short time later it ended. I was pretty upset about it for awhile because it was a total whirlwind romance and was beyond anything I could have ever asked for. It obviously wasn't meant to be though, and even though it was very short, I learned a lot about myself. Shortly after that I started having issues with my church. I was seeing signs of teaching going on that was not Biblically based and not true. I had a really tough time dealing with that and wasn't sure how to handle it. I had gotten planted there, met a ton of great people, I was taking my Bible college course there, my kids loved the children's church and I didn't want to give it up. At the same time, I was very scared that I was being misled without even realizing it, and in turn so were my kids. If you aren't well educated in Biblical studies, doctrine and theology, it's not hard to be misled. I don't believe the church I attended was misleading people on purpose. I truly feel like they are uneducated, and listening to other "teachers" who are uneducated. I decided the best thing to do would be to not walk, but run away. As hard as it was at first, I know I made the right decision. Doing that freed up a lot of time for me, and I realized then just how much I had been getting involved in and slowly overwhelming myself. Because of my Bible course I was required to serve 20 hours per month at the church. That may not seem like a lot, but if you consider that I live 45 minutes away (in each direction), how often I was having to go back and forth, how much it was costing me to do so, and how much more kept getting added to my serving plate, then factor in non-church related commitments we had, it was a lot. And I still wasn't even meeting my 20 hours of service time. Serving was becoming a burden, and I kept getting told by church staff that it is our duty as Christians to serve. But isn't it supposed to be with a joyful heart? I just wasn't there. And I think that's okay! I can't do everything, especially as a single parent. I started to realize that maybe my job right now is to just be a Mom. That is the season of life I'm in right now so I need to embrace it and do the best I can. Before I know it, this season will change and my kids won't need me as much as they do. I want to make the most of the time I have with them now, and train them in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). Lord knows how quickly they grown up.

After all that happened with my church, I began looking for a new church, and one close to home. I think I have found one, but I haven't attended it yet so I don't have any comments to share about it. I did email the Pastor there and found out that he has been to seminary which I've learned is VERY important. I had never considered before if my Pastor was actually educated. I guess I just assumed that with having the title "Pastor" they would have had to complete some sort of education. This isn't so, and this is what I find frightening. How can you TEACH the Bible if you don't know it yourself? The Bible needs to be studied in order to be taught. I honestly feel a little bit burned, a little ripped off by my old church, so I'm taking a bit of a church vacation. I will attend this church close to home soon.

Now that I'm not making anymore trips into the city where my church was, I've found that I've not been driving much anymore. The city that I live in is, in my opinion, amazingly well planned and almost every single thing that I need to survive is within 2km's of my home. Lately we will go out to get groceries or pay a bill and that's about it. We've been doing this routinely about once a week. As I was reflecting on this significant change in my life, I started thinking. The first thought was that I was no longer impressed with how much money I was paying to use a vehicle 1-2 times a week. I'm lucky that my vehicle is paid off, but the costs of insurance and gas made my infrequent usage bother me. Gas prices keep rising steadily, and our government has also planted their hands deep in gas users pockets with taxes on the gas (somewhere around the 36% mark). The government has also implemented a carbon tax that increases each year for four years and started last year. For someone like me, a single parent who doesn't make much money, driving has definitely become a luxury, and a pain in the ass. Granted that with me driving less it means spending less on gas, but it's still money that I have to put out that I don't want to put out anymore. I also drive a minivan that is a hog on gas. The idea popped into my head that I could bike ride everywhere. Then the idea came to me that I should bike ride everywhere. Why didn't I think of this sooner?! All I would need is a good bike, a bike trailer to tow around Gabe, and Vaeh could ride her bike. If I got a 2 seater trailer I could put groceries in beside Gabe. I could then take the insurance off of my van, park it and start saving money. By hanging on to the van instead of selling it, it's there in case of absolute emergency and it's also there for the winter. This is the perfect time to tinker with such an experiment being that we are heading into summer. Right now I'm looking for a good used bike and trailer on Craiglist and once my tax refund comes we are getting started! The kids are super excited to do this, and so am I. I heard from somewhere once that the most dangerous part of a car is the seat. So many of us live planted on our couches, in office chairs, or in the seat of our cars and aren't being anywhere near as active as we should be. That's about to change for us. Pretty soon we will be a car-lite family and we'll actually be out and about in our community, not locked away in a vehicle or in the house all the time! You will probably be reading a lot about this as we move forward in this journey and I will share with you as much as I possibly can. Life is all about The Journey, The Adventure. Lets get out there and try something new! It will be uncomfortable at first not having a vehicle at my disposal, that I know. Trying a new thing is almost always uncomfortable, but it's in that discomfort where growth is born and if you aren't growing, you aren't living. Don't you agree? ♥

Last Day

Well, today is officially the last day I will be 28. Tomorrow I turn 29 and will begin my last year as a twenty-something. If the next year is anything like the last couple of months have been, then I am so excited to see what the year brings.

Today I had an awesome day! I started my journey of baking and it was a ridiculous amount of fun. My first project was a yeast bread. It was a little intimidating at first as I've never even used yeast before, let alone bake any type of bread. It was a bit of a process, with having to let the dough rise not once but twice, and I'm just a little bit of an impatient person, but it was so worth the wait!

Here is my beautiful dough after mixing and a bit of kneading.

 Here it is all puffy and gorgeous after it's first rise.

Here Vaeh is punching it down, getting it ready for rolling and putting it into the pan for it's second rise.

And here it is, in all of it's baked, crusty, soft, golden brown glory.

I'm so incredibly proud of myself. If you've never baked bread before, you must try it. The sense of accomplishment after you take it out of the oven is HUGE. 

During the periods of rest for the dough to rise, I decided to make some granola in between those pauses. Granola is a very inexpensive thing to make and it's good to have on hand for snacking or for cereal. I didn't put much into this, I just used what was on hand; oats, ground flax, salt, cinnamon, melted butter and honey. 

This is a picture just before going into the oven.

And this is after coming out.

 

I'm definitely going to keep this up. My house has never smelled so heavenly, and for whatever reason, all this baking happening today made me go to town cleaning my house. So now I'm relaxing on the couch with my feet up, enjoying the delicious smell of freshly baked bread, along with the faint aroma of cinnamon, my house is organized and I get to share my wonderful day with all of you. It's a very good day. 

Tomorrow my birthday-day will start off with waking to a tidy house (how great is that?!) and then I plan on baking one of my favorite cakes; the pineapple upside down variety :) I found an interesting recipe for baking this in a crock pot and it's kind of piqued my interest. I'm doing a very basic version of it, not going too fancy, in case it totally bombs. That way I won't be so upset about it. After that I'll probably just relax at home (as much as I can while working) and at some point go and renew my drivers license and pay my cell phone bill. I know what you are thinking. My life is so glamorous. Please don't be jealous. Really. It's not very becoming.

So that is the plan. If anything changes I will be quite surprised, and it takes a lot to surprise me. So long 28! You've been good to me and started me off on a path I really never saw coming. To 29: you have some big shoes to fill, but I have no doubt in my mind that you will exceed my expectations.

Whew!

Wow, it's been a crazy time around here. I can't believe I spent this long not posting here, but it was necessary. Once things started getting back on track after Gabe's bout with croup, we got hit with another wave of ickyness. We are beginning to get over it now, whatever it was, but it's still affecting me quite a bit. I have been really tired and not feeling myself at all and that part of it is hanging on. I'm thankful though that when we do get sick, which isn't all that often, we bounce back fairly quickly. I attribute that to our diet and basically taking good overall care of ourselves. It does make a difference. I will apologize in advance if any of this post doesn't make much sense. I'm still a little foggy, lol.

Tomorrow marks the end of term 2 in my Bible college class and term 3 begins next week. I'm loving every minute of it. I'm learning so much and making some great friends, and of course strengthening my relationship with God. I can't believe how far I was from Him just a short time ago, and now I'm closer than I've ever been. I've been able to accomplish so many things through Him and with His guidance, it's amazing. Truly amazing. I look back on the last year and I was just a mess, especially after ending the relationship with my ex. I didn't realize how co-dependent I had become on my ex until I left. The first time I had to go to a grocery store alone with the kids was absolutely terrifying for me. I was even scared to drive. I was so far removed from myself during that 7 year relationship that I spent much of my time at home, in solitude with my children. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone in the real world. I became so insanely shy, even talking to a bank teller or cashier was excruciating for me and affected me for days afterward. I would never go places or do things on my own. Ever. I always had to have someone with me, and that was on the rare occasion that I left the house. My life was in shambles. I wouldn't go to church because 1) I had to do it alone, and 2) I was horribly ashamed of my life, so I just didn't go. I look at my life now and I'm such a different person. I'm out, getting a life that I never had but always wanted. I'm meeting people, learning new things, making HUGE changes and stepping out of my comfort zone time and time again. Fear still grips me in almost everything that I do, but I press through it. I lived in fear for far too long and I won't let it have control over me anymore. It still has a voice, true, but not control. I've even started the process of auditioning for the worship team (singing) at my church. I've always wanted to sing but never had the confidence. This is a different girl!! I know none of this would have been possible without the strength of God in me.

I've recently decided to hold off on my studio re-do and I've contacted a homestay organization in the hopes of hosting a foreign student. Not only will this help my finances (things are VERY tight!) but I think it would be a great experience for the kids. I had an interview with one organization in particular and hopefully I will hear something from them soon. I figure since I already do so much of my crafting at my kitchen table, why not use my office for something that will be of a great help. I'm working on making some more changes in the areas of finances, meal/menu planning and smart shopping. So far I've managed to cut my grocery bill from around $500 a month to around $350 a month, but I know I can do better than that so I' m working on it. I will post about these changes soon, as they happen.

A few weeks back I watched the movie Julie & Julia and was completely inspired to do more cooking and baking. I have such a strong desire to make things from scratch, bake treats with the kids and create meals that make those who eat them close their eyes in pure enjoyment. I love how great meals bring people together and represent wonderful family moments and gatherings. I love how home-made baked treats make children eagerly sit in front of the oven licking their lips, and make them silently giggle while they eat them, filling up with the love that the baker put into them. I have a lot of wonderful memories of family meals and I want to experience those with my own children. It may take me awhile to start this "new" tradition here but I will keep you posted on every moment of it.

So that's it for now. I'm tired and should get some much needed rest. The kids and I were up at 5am this morning as I am helping out at my church every Sunday for the month of March. A bunch of us are making breakfast for the early morning service team and then we all sit down and eat together before service begins. It's such a lovely time, but it makes for a very tired Me come Sunday afternoon. I'm not a morning person at all. I'm not a grump, it just affects me a lot physically when I wake up too early.

Goodnight everyone! Bye for now ♥

My Big Moment

Last Saturday, January 30th, was a big day for me. It was a life changing day and truly one I will never forget. Last Saturday I was baptized. I won't go into details of my testimony because it is very long, but since this blog is about me and my life, I thought this was definitely something worthy of sharing. It was a big decision for me to get baptized and one that I did not take lightly. I grew up as a Christian but never had been baptized. I'm glad I waited. Not only was it an incredibly moving experience, it was very overwhelming. At my church, my Pastor likes to baptize several people at once, kind of make it an occasion. After taking a 30 minute class we are all called up on stage during church service and each of us is to give our testimony. Out loud. On stage. Into a microphone. Gulp. I had NEVER spoken in public, or even into a microphone in my life, and it was one of my biggest fears. I was shaking and kept arguing with myself that I couldn't do it, yes I could, no I couldn't, yes I could. I had no time at all to prepare, thinking my Pastor would just ask one or two to speak. As the microphone slowly made it's way down to me, after incredibly moving testimonies were spoken bringing me to tears just hearing others stories, it landed in my hands. I was shaking. I was terrified. I remember the first thing I thought was that it was heavier than I imagined. The next thing I thought, 'Oh my gosh, I have to speak now. HELP!!!'. My parents and sister looked on, along with the rest of the congregation and I just opened my mouth. I nervously introduced myself, gave my testimony and then did my best to hold back tears as I finished. Wow that was hard. I passed the microphone to the next person and instantly felt relieved. And then the strangest feeling came over me. I wanted to do it again. WHAT?! I did not just think that. Yep. I wanted to do it again. I loved it! I conquered a major fear I have struggled with my whole life and now it's behind me. I can totally do it again.
After our testimonies were shared, we lined up to the baptism tank and one by one, we were baptized. All 7 of us. Strangers an hour prior. Now connected like never before. It was incredible. It all happened so fast, but I do remember taking in every moment. The temperature of the water, what the Pastor said to me, how long I was under the water for, coming up, wiping my eyes, turning and facing the church and throwing my hands up in the air. I did it.
I've spent the last week sort of reflecting, and realizing the huge leaps and bounds I've taken the last few months in my life because of my faith. It has been an amazing journey and I can't wait to see what is in store for me next. Bring it on!!!

Good Old Fashioned Wholesomeness

Last weekend, in celebration of Vaeh's birthday, we made a visit to the Kids Only Market on Granville Island. It's one of her most favorite places in the world and it's become a bit of a tradition for her birthday that we spend the day there. A couple of years ago I gave Vaeh the option to either have a party, invite kids and do the whole party thing or just go somewhere fun and spend the day together as a family. She chose the latter and a new tradition emerged. I'm a little against traditional birthday parties for several reasons so I was elated that she was on board. I'm sure her ideals will change as she grows older, but for now I'm loving the way we celebrate. My favorite part about the Kids Only Market is that they have all these neat little stores that carry really cool traditional type, quality, wholesome toys. Part of our tradition is that she picks out a special birthday gift while at the market. This year we cheated a little bit and picked out more than one, but they are small and can be enjoyed by all 3 of us so we snuck in a few more. As you can see from the picture, she picked out bells, a harmonica and a kaleidoscope along with a wooden birdhouse making kit and a garden tool kit. To me you don't get much more wholesome than that. She so takes after me. I would've picked all of those as well. We are blessed in the fact that because we are registered homeschoolers through a certain organization, we get a learning investment which is an allotment of funds dispersed throughout the year to be used toward the cost of educating and providing supplies to the learner. All of the items Vaeh picked from the market fall under the category of learning so they were no cost to me. I love when that happens. Especially when you take into account the changes I'm working on, that learning invesment is incredibly helpful.

A few weeks before our day at the Market I was browsing the free section on Craigslist and found an ad from a husband and wife photography team looking to expand their portfolio and offering free photo shoots for the first 5 people to respond to the ad. I happened to be quick enough and managed to get myself a free photo shoot. Before we went to the Market we had our pictures taken, journalistic style (my favorite) at Kitsilano Beach. I'll talk more about this in another blog post.

It definitely was a great day. We've been working hard on our harmonica/bells jam sessions and I think we're improving. But that would depend on who you ask. Just make sure it's not my neighbor :)

Thrift Shopping and a New Challenge

I hadn't had a chance to shop the numerous aisles in my favorite thrift shop in what seemed to be ages, but finally, FINALLY, I was able to pop in for a quick visit. I love thrift stores. It is really amazing the little treasures and everyday things you can find. My favorite is the Value Village close to my home, along with another little church thrift store close-by, but know that not all thrift stores are created equal. I've been in my fair share of thrift stores and location is key. Stores that are in "nicer" neighborhoods will more than likely carry "nicer" things. The Value Village I shop at is in one of those "nicer" neighborhoods and regularly I find clothing from H&M, Gap, Old Navy and many other name brands, a lot of them with the store tags still on. Something else I love to shop for at thrift stores is books. Some people may get all icky-feeling about buying used books but I have a tip for you. Put your "new" books into a bag and then pop them into the freezer for a couple of days. When you take them out they are fresh as daisies. Even musty smelling books loose their musty smell after a visit to the freezer. My favorite thing though, is finding vintage treasures at thrift stores. This can be hard as the good items get snapped up really quickly, but once in awhile you will come across something old and sweet, and you fall in love. Especially when those items remind you of your childhood. My most recent "love" purchase was these 3 little vintage glasses.

I'm sure at one point there were more of these oh-so-pretty glasses in the set, but that was all that was there. Since there are 3 of us here at home, it works out nicely. I really love these. They remind me of glasses my Grandma had when I was a little girl.

With all of the turmoil and devastation happening in Haiti, and all over the world, my heart has really been aching for people who need help. I do what I can, when I can, but it doesn't feel like anywhere near enough. I so admire all of the people who have dropped everything to be in Haiti in person, and I admire even more the people who left Haiti after the earthquake and are going back because they want to help. If I could do it I so would. But it got me thinking about my own situation. Safe, comfortable, happy, here. I feel guilty. I do. To ever complain about something not going quite right for me, I feel guilty. Selfish and guilty. With those thoughts sprung a challenge. Maybe it was God putting it into my heart, but nevertheless a challenge has presented itself to me and I am going to take it on. With all of my efforts on trying to live a simple lifestyle, with all of my efforts to not keep up with the Joneses, and with my love for thrift stores, sites like Freecycle and Craigslist, I'm going to live with less, and with purpose. I'm going to cut back on all of the things I don't need, and I've started already. I got rid of my fancy cell phone, used my FidoDollars and got a much cheaper phone, and a green one to boot. I also got rid of my fancy cell phone plan and went with a much cheaper plan, with the hopes of eventually going even cheaper once my contract is up. I've cancelled all of the fancy extras on my cable plan, as well as on my home phone plan, and plan to do more cutting back in these areas when I can figure out where (they rope you into so many things you don't need, but can't not have. Does that make sense??). This is just the beginning. I'm not going to get sucked into buying the latest gadget, upgrade to the latest must-have, guilt-tripped into buying the latest toy, or pay a fortune for something I can get much less (or FREE!). The purpose behind all of this, is to enable me to give more. I don't need a bunch of junk while other people are barely surviving. It doesn't make sense and it doesn't work. Not in my mind it doesn't. And what appeal is there behind all of these mass-produced, chemical laden "things" that fill our homes anyway? We can't take it with us in the end. And that's the point. I'm going to take the focus off of me, live with a purpose that is beyond me,  and extend my hand. I hope I can make even a small difference somehow, somewhere. It's worth a try.