Reflections

Deep down, I think I've always known I want to do things differently. It's so easy to follow everyone else's move and constantly keep up with the Joneses, even if they're broke. Life these days is so much about appearances and how well you can trick other people into thinking you are fabulous. I completely got caught up in this mindset and I think the real me finally said ENOUGH!!! and gave me a good shake.
As a teenager I had incredibly low self esteem and it was so easy for me to conform. Conforming meant fitting in. Bonus. It worked! For awhile. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't happy. Revelation: It wasn't "me". The journey to finding the real me began when I had my first child, Vaeh. Let me say, it wasn't a great awakening that happened the second she popped her little head out. Here I sit 7 years later writing this blog. What does that tell you. With each day that passed after she was born though, something was stirring inside of me. The first big step out of my little box of safety was making the decision to homeschool Vaeh. This may not seem like a big deal, but even as little as 7 years ago, it wasn't an overly common thing to homeschool your kids. I had many reasons for why I chose to homeschool her, but my main reason was I wanted her to experience something different, and if I could facilitate that than I had to go for it.
Over the course of the next 7 years I had my son Gabe and was now a Mom of two, but not too much really happened in the form of life change, and I was screaming for it. I spent those years in a very rough relationship and I think that had something to do with me being stuck in life. I couldn't move forward no matter how hard I tried. I was seeking something different but I didn't know what, or how to get it. My life became Groundhog Day; each day replaying exactly as monotonous as it did before. At the time what I didn't realize was that change had to come in the form of baby steps, small pieces, that when combined produce the bigger picture.
Almost a year ago I ended my tumultuous relationship and that marked the beginning of my life. My brand new shiny life that I was determined to make the most of. Over the course of the last 12 months I have been making small changes and big changes and everything has been leading to finding out who I am and what it is I really want out of life. I thought I would have a little fun at the same time and blog about my journey, my adventure, and all the mishaps and victories that are sure to come.