Go Ahead, Make Something

The last few weeks I have totally and completely immersed myself in being useful, productive, creative, and establishing this little house I call homestead. Here's what I've been up to:

 

Homemade bread and banana muffins

• Making Bread- I decided that it was completely unnecessary to be buying things from the store that I can very easily make myself. Bread was the first thing on the list of no-more-grocery-store, and once I started I couldn't stop. I found two very simple recipes for white sandwich bread and whole wheat bread at The Frugal Girl's site. Not only does homemade bread taste fantastic, it really isn't as hard as one might think. The first loaf of bread I ever made turned out lovely, and I had never even worked with yeast before. If you've ever wanted to bake your own bread, give it a go. You just might surprise yourself.

• Cooking from Scratch- Once I started baking bread all of the time, it dawned on me that I can take it a step further and make other things from scratch. I started with soups that had simple things in them like a variety of vegetables with lentils and beans. Not only is it easy to throw a soup like this together, but it is also super healthy and super frugal, which makes me super happy. Before making my own soup, I wasn't the biggest soup fan. I rarely ate the stuff, and honestly thought it was kind of a pointless meal because I never stayed full long enough to make it worth eating. Homemade soup with tummy-filling legumes can't be beat. Another frugal bonus to homemade soup is that typically we can get two dinners and one lunch out of one batch of it. I've been doing so much experimenting with trying new things that I've just thrown caution to the wind and if I have an idea for a dinner, I jump in with both feet and make it from scratch. Just the other day I thought Chinese food would be good as we haven't had it in a really long time. Then Wonton soup popped into my head, something I haven't had in ages but lovelovelove. So I thought, how hard could it be to make Wonton soup? 2.5 hours later I was eating homemade Wonton soup and vegetable Chow Mein. You know what else I made a couple of weeks ago? Yogurt. Homemade Greek yogurt to be exact. I'd always wanted to make homemade yogurt but I thought I needed a yogurt maker or some tools and equipment that I didn't have. After discovering I had a half-gallon of skim milk in my fridge that was a day past the expiry date I thought this may be the perfect opportunity to not waste all of that milk and make some yogurt. I did some digging around and I discovered that I could easily make it from scratch using a crock-pot, which I have. If you've been looking for an easy crock-pot yogurt this is how you do it: 

1. Pour 2 Litres of milk (whole milk works best I find, but any type should work) into a crock-pot and heat on LOW for 2 hours and 45 minutes. 
2. Turn your crock-pot off, unplug it, and let it cool for 3 hours with the lid on.
3. After 3 hours scoop out 2 cups of the warm milk into a bowl and add 1/4 to 1/2 a cup of plain yogurt that has active bacterial cultures in it. You need those cultures to make your yogurt. Any type of plain yogurt will work as long as it has those cultures. 
4. Mix the milk and yogurt together well, and then pour the mixture back into the warm milk in the crock-pot and whisk it until it is all mixed.
5. With the lid back on, wrap the crock-pot up in big fluffy bath towels. You want to insulate your crock-pot well. 
6. Place it in your oven with the oven light on (DO NOT TURN THE OVEN ON). Leave it to rest in your oven for 12 hours. Trust me on this, the oven light makes a major difference. You want your yogurt to stay warm all night long and the oven light gives off just the right amount of warmth.

This recipe is best done before you go to bed so you can leave the yogurt resting overnight. When you wake up in the morning you will have yogurt! Put it in the fridge to chill and firm up a bit for a good 8 hours. To make it into Greek yogurt I strained the yogurt over a bowl while it was in the fridge for the 8 hours, stirring  it every few hours. This strains out all of the whey and leaves behind a thick, creamy, gorgeous yogurt. You can use cheesecloth to strain it, or if you don't have that on hand a plain cotton pillow case works just as well.  Also, KEEP THE WHEY! You can use this in your baking, in smoothies or you can even drink it straight if you so desire. My favorite way of eating this delicious yogurt is topped with raw honey. Try it!! Frugal bonus- one 650g container of Greek yogurt in the stores here costs anywhere from $5.50 - $6.50 CAD. This homemade version makes enough strained yogurt to fill two 650g containers for the cost of one 2L jug of milk, which if you opt for organic whole milk is about $5.00 CAD. That's $2.50 CAD per 650g container. Woot! Another great thing, is that if you save 1/2 cup of your homemade yogurt, you can then use that as your active bacterial culture for your next homemade batch.

• Making the Most of my Garden- Spring has definitely sprung, but my yard is empty. The chives I planted last year are growing like crazy, my parsley is slowly but surely coming up, and my Day Lily is taking off. But last year I didn't make the most of my yard and just dabbled in greening my thumb. This year I want a lush, productive, thriving oasis of edibles. I know it's still early in the season, but the lovely warm spring weather we've had the last few days has kick-started me into garden mode. I've been carefully plotting out what I would grow based on things that I know all three of us like to eat, where to plant them, when to plant them, where to get the seeds from, and doing a ton of research on growing food on the west coast. I'm waiting on an order I placed last week for Super Sugar Snap Peas, Little Marvel Shelling Peas, Dwarf Munstead Lavender, Single Orange Calendula (Marigold), Parker's Variety Achillea (Yarrow), Blue Boy Centaurea (Cornflower) and Chamomile. All of these things can go in direct seed now and I can't wait to get them into the ground!! All of it is also either edible or can be used for medicinal purposes. This is the first batch of things to plant. Next week I will be putting together a square foot garden (I'll talk more about that when I get going on it!) and I have visions of lettuce, beets, carrots, brussell sprouts, tomatoes, cucumber (upside down gardening), zucchini (upside down gardening), pole beans, herbs and a bunch of other stuff waiting for us to pick and eat. Before and after pictures will be coming, so stay tuned!

 One thing I have discovered with all this making that has been going on, is how rewarding it is to create something and provide for yourself and for those in your family. It is a lot of work, but at the same time it is simple. It feels simple. I feel like I'm heading in the right direction. I'm beginning to feel like a homesteader.
 

Inspiration: Part One

Lately I've been finding inspiration in places I didn't expect. I love when that happens. For the longest time I have been seeking some inspiration and I just wasn't finding it. I don't know exactly what I was looking for, but I needed something. Anything. I just needed to be inspired. Perhaps I thought inspiration would show itself to me in a certain way, and when I wasn't seeing it, I didn't recognize it when it did come. Perhaps it is like the saying goes, that when you stop looking for something, it's then that you find it. Either way, it feels good to be inspired.

For many years I've had a strong interest in baking, gardening, sewing, crafting and making things by hand. It wasn't until recently when these things started becoming a passion for me, especially as I was learning about the homesteading (or back-to-the-land) movement and how many people were making changes to embrace a simpler life, one that resembled a lot what our Grandparents or Great-Grandparents lives may have looked like, and one that was self sufficient. Slowly I've been making small changes and doing things like composting, growing a few veggies, living frugally, and not driving as much in an effort to be kinder to the planet. It wasn't until I started reading up on homesteading that I realized it was that lifestyle I was really after. It had a name. And I wanted in.

I didn't grow up living in a house filled with family members happily baking alongside each other in the kitchen. My Mom and Step-Dad both worked full time outside of our home and weren't around all that much. We didn't grow our own food. All we grew were flowers, and not even edible ones. The only time we used our wood-burning fireplace was once in awhile for special occasions. The norm for our house was to retreat to our respective bedrooms and watch TV. As was the norm for most other homes I visited, whether they were friends or family. The only real exposure I got to baking was in home economics class in highschool, and on the occasion that my Mom wasn't too tired and felt like baking, us kids got to watch. When I had my children the same patterns began repeating themselves. Traditions were never passed down to me so that I could pass them on to my children, and skills were never carried down the generational line. Or so I thought.

In sort of a haunting way, I've been thinking a lot about my Grandparents on my Father's side, who have both passed away. I typically only got to see them once in awhile when my Father had visitation of me and if we went to visit them. As a child, those visits were precious and I loved my Grandparents dearly. They were the type of Grandparents I would have dreamed of having if they weren't mine. They were sweet, soft-spoken, old-fashioned and lovely. And they loved me like crazy. As I got older, the visits slowed, and when I became a Mom myself with all of it's busyness, I no longer made time for them. I know I took them for granted, foolishly thinking they would be around for a long time. Now that they are gone, so is my opportunity to nourish that relationship. They have been gone for some time now, but for whatever reason, I've been plagued with vivid memories of the time I spent with them, which almost always leaves me sobbing into my pillow at night over how much I miss them, and how much I missed out on. Memories that I had forgotten all about, now play over and over again in my mind as clear as day. I remember the way my Grandma dressed, always in skirts no shorter than her knees and beautiful blouses tucked in and buttoned up to her neck. She always had her snow white hair pulled up into a bun. I remember only ever seeing her with her hair down once, during a sleepover at her house and she was getting ready for bed. Her hair flowed down past her waist, and I remember how beautiful I thought she looked. My Grandpa loved to show me his garden. They lived in a beautiful mobile home in a sweet little mobile home park. Their backyard was small, but they made room to grow quite a bit of food next to their umbrella clothesline. Grandpa would always take me out back and show me how well his radishes were doing, or he would sneak a strawberry off the plant for me to eat while Grandma was inside cooking dinner. It was always our little secret. Grandma's dinners were always unbelievably delicious, with as much of it made from scratch as possible. You could taste the love in her meals, and dinner at their house was something I always looked forward to. Following dinner we almost always played some sort of game. Our favorites were usually Skip-Bo, Uno, Cribbage, or Tiddley Winks. They had a TV, but didn't watch it much. From time to time Grandpa would watch bowling or a golf game, but usually he would be found napping on the couch in the afternoon, or puttering in the garden or in his shed. Grandma spent her free time reading her Bible, usually in the morning before anyone else awoke. When I would wake in the morning I would come out to the table and be greeted with toast and juice, and Grandma's Bible would be open on the table. On Sundays she attended a home church near by, but never preached to me. Not even once. She lived out her faith everyday, which looking back on now spoke much louder than words ever could have. My Grandpa taught me how to swim in the mobile park's pool and afterward we would walk back to their home to do a puzzle together. He loved his puzzles. Grandma taught me to knit and crochet, and instilled in me a love for crafting, and for old-fashioned/vintage decor. Their house had doilies and lace curtains, gorgeous (and tasteful) shag carpet, an arborite table in their dining room, pantings and house plants everywhere, two china cabinets and a spoon collection, and just about every other currently collectible item circa the 1950's that you could ask for. She also had a sewing room that dreams were made of. Their life was simple, and they were more than willing to share it with whoever wanted to be a part of it. They didn't live a self-sufficient lifestyle, but they introduced me to what was possible by living simply. They taught me skills that I can pass down to my children, and my children's children. They taught me to slow down and take time to enjoy the beauty of nature, to enjoy the closeness of family, to deepen my faith. Because of their willingness to share it, they planted deep within me a desire to do the same. Most imporantly I think, is that they taught me a different side to the life I was accustomed to, and showed me a better way of doing things. Growing up I took these lessons for granted, and forgot most of them. Now, these lessons have flooded back and no longer will I take them for granted. Instead, I will run with them. I will pass on the traditions they left with me.

I never thought inspiration would find me in the form of memories, but it did. Out of the blue, and completely unexpected. What a blessing my Grandparents were, and continue to be, in my life. What an inspiration.

Hello Cable-Free Life

The last two weeks in my home have been glorious. Why, you might ask? Well I did something that I've wanted to do for a very long time, and finally after several arguments with myself, I cancelled our cable. I have to say it is the best decision I have made in a very long time. At first it wasn't easy. There was a lot of this happening inside my head:

"Okay. NOW is the time, cable needs to go. I'm sick of it, I hate it, and I don't want it anymore"...

10 seconds later-

"Well, maybe I'll just get rid of the digital cable package and hold on to basic cable, just in case I need a TV fix. And I'll definitely NEED to watch the news. A person can't live in this world without up to the minute information on what is happening on the other side of the planet.......right??"

7 seconds later-

"NO. No-no-no-no. The point of cancelling cable is to CANCEL the cable. The basic package is not necessary and I don't need it."

5 seconds later-

"..........but what about that show 'Parenthood'??? It's getting really good now and I can't miss the next episode because the one girl is dating that guy behind her parents back and now she's gone and run away from home just so she can date him and......oh screw it. Cable's going." 

You know what the really sad thing is? I had conversations like that with myself for DAYS. It really shocked me at just how addicted I was to a box in the corner of my living room. What sealed the deal for me though, was seeing the immediate change in my kids just as soon as the power came on on the TV. They were instantly transformed into zombies, unaware of their surroundings and put into a state of complete mush-brain. It could have almost been turned into a game. Turn the TV off, they snap out of it and start playing. Turn the TV on, they freeze, flop onto whatever piece of furniture is the closest to the TV, and are motionless and unresponsive. I could have had fun with that. Anyway. After convincing myself that neither me or my children were going to die from lack of television provided entertainment, I made the announcement that there would be no more Dog the Bounty Hunter or Billy the Exterminator, and that was that. Not a whine or cry was to be had by anyone, surprisingly. The first day without the TV on was a tiny bit strange. There was a quiet in the house that wasn't typical, and of course we were all left up to our own devices to keep ourselves occupied. It turns out it wasn't that hard of a thing to do. I started catching up on books that I've been "too busy" (because of watching TV) to read, and Gabe and Vaeh started getting along in a way that I don't see very often. I started noticing that we would sort of migrate to the same areas to be near each other, even if we were doing our own things. I would be in my cozy chair reading a book, Vaeh would pull out a puzzle and find a spot on the floor right by the chair I was sitting in, and Gabe would put together a stack of books and plant himself right next to his sister on the floor. There would be this blissful, content quiet throughout the whole house while this happened; all of us peacefully enjoying our chosen activity but also silently enjoying the closeness of each other. We are a very close family as it is, but this was something new for us, and it was beautiful.

I can't say that TV has been non-existent in our home as we have started a nightly routine of watching Little House on the Prairie on DVD every night before the kids' bedtime. Does that even count though? And if I am absolutely desperate for a TV fix, there are always programs out there like Netflix and of course online. I can honestly say though, that we haven't missed one second of not having cable in our home, and it makes me wonder why I didn't do this ages ago. The last two weeks have been filled with baking, reading, crafting, conversations, cuddles under blankets, story telling by the fireplace, and a terrific feeling of freedom. I can't recall a time in my entire life where I didn't have cable. I grew up in front of a TV so it's no wonder why I was addicted, and the fact that it played such a prominent role in my life made me wonder if I could even do this without breaking out into a cold sweat and calling the cable company, begging for my service to be restored while I'm curled up in the fetal position. Let me tell you, if I can do this anyone can. It really does feel like breaking free from an addiction. It's a sad thing that something like cable can have such a grip on people, and I'm so glad I'm no longer one of those people.

Goodbye cable. Hello life.

Enjoying a Slower Pace

Yes, after the hustle and bustle of Christmas it seems we are headed into recovery mode. Finally.

Last week we celebrated Vaeh's 8th birthday (how on earth did that happen so quickly???) so there was a bit of excitement and a lot going on. Over the last few years we had decided not to celebrate birthdays with traditional parties, but instead rather, celebrating as a family and marking the day a 'special day'. The birthday child picks ahead of time special activities they would like to do that day, and then afterward we head to a toy shop and they get to pick out a birthday gift. This year Vaeh picked bowling (5 pin) and a movie (Disneys Tangled). It was a great, fun filled day. She picked out a doll from the toy shop, and Grandma (who came along with us) had her pick out a new outfit as well. As per our tradition, her 'special day' started off with a 'special breakfast' of her choice: belgian waffles topped with blueberries and syrup, and sparkling rasperry-grape juice.

                     



She said with the tablecloth, the rose and the meal, it felt like we were at a super fancy restaurant. It really did. And the best part is, we didn't pay a super fancy restaurant price tag.

Now that her birthday has passed, we can slow down even more and gain some perspective on life and on our lifestyle. For a long time I've been craving a simpler life; one that is slow yet steady, relaxed yet productive, and most importantly: wholesome. I get easily caught up in consumerism. I get easily swayed by "advice" from outside sources telling me how I "should" be doing things when every fibre of my being wants nothing to do with it. I get sucked in to the influence of the media. I get busy. Crazy busy. And I want off that ride. I've been taking steps to get to the life I've always pictured in the back of my mind, but I feel like it's time to go a bit further, be a bit more brave and not hold back. So what is this life I want to be living? Well it involves several things. Many of them might seem small and insignificant, but they are just small pieces that when put together, create the bigger picture. The picture of happiness, contentment, self sufficiency, inspiration, beauty, family, quality, health and happiness.

These are some things I have been doing, and plan on doing very soon:

• Going TV Free. This is something I've struggled with a lot over the last couple of years. I hate TV, yet I can't stop watching it. I find most of it meaningless, pointless, fake and damaging, yet I still watch it. It interferes with productivity, it promotes laziness and it turns people into real-life zombies. Must I go on? I hate TV, so cable must go.

• "Use it up, Wear it out, Make do, or Do without". I first heard this quote on a blog I subscribe to called The Non-Consumer Advocate.  We are a throw-away society, and we are conditioned to believe that we need the latest, newest, thingymabob on the market in order to feel good about ourselves. I'm flat-out rebelling against that idea.

• Making It Myself. I'm challenging myself to make as many things as I can myself. As much as I would love to go all out in this area by making EVERYTHING myself, and believe me that is very tempting for me, I know that isn't possible if I plan on sleeping at all. Sleeping is kind of necessary. If there is something me or the kids want or need, I'm going to do my best to make it myself.

• Growing Food and Canning. Each year I add a little bit more to my tiny backyard/patio garden. This year I would like to double it and make most of my yard into a garden. Movements like Food Not Lawns inspire me to grow more food and have less lawn. Canning is something I've wanted to learn to do for a very long time, but never got around to. There is something so appealing about it to me.

• Healthy Diet, Healthy Living, Less Meat. I'm not a vegetarian, nor am I trying to become one. I really do enjoy meat, but it is expensive, and this frugalista doesn't like expensive. By cutting back on how much meat we eat that helps to lower the cost of groceries. Also, I've seen the documentary Food, Inc. enough times to make me question the food that I buy and where I buy it from, especially meat. The past few weeks I've made some major changes in the foods that I eat, cutting out as much junk as possible and eating real food, not dinner-in-a-box or processed garbage. Traditional, wholesome (there's that word again!) food. I've cut coffee out of my diet and have been drinking water, green tea, and the occasional sparkling juice. I take my vitamins daily, I've been exercising and have been incorporating more legumes into our meals. All of these changes have resulted in me feeling fantastic. I feel rested in the morning when I wake up, I have much more energy than I did before and my daily headaches (which I discovered were from the coffee, and probably the junk I was eating) are gone.

• Unscheduling and Proper Planning. In our house we fall victim to overscheduling. Taking on too much. Signing up for classes, making more committments than we have the time or energy for, continuously running errands because of poor planning (fail to plan, plan to fail). It isn't necessary and it has to stop. Simplifying life has a lot to do with simplifying schedules. My kids don't need to be signed up for every activity out there, nor do I. I don't need to make 3 trips to the store in a week, one should be enough. We've already begun to cut back on our scheduling and our committments, and it feels like a weight has been lifted.

• Seek Inspiration. I have a very creative soul. When I was younger I used to create things all the time. I would sew, draw, color, write, daydream, glue, paint. As I got older, those things started to fade and now I struggle with finding inspiration to be creative. I'm sure a lot of that has to do with TV watching (did I mention it zaps creativity?) but there is a block somewhere, much to the tune of writers block. My imagination seems to have disappeared on me, and I'm desperate to get it back. I feel lost without creativity. A big piece of me is missing.

Those are just some things I am working on, and more will come I'm sure. I'm definitely excited about putting all of these things into place, and more. I'm excited to see how this year will unfold, and how much different life will look the same time next year. More than anything, I'm looking forward to the pace. Slow. Slow and steady. Wasn't there a book written about that? :)

Forgive Me If I Make No Sense

I woke up this morning with a cold. Fun. My head has been spinning all day, so I will do my best to put together a proper post. I apologize in advance if that doesn't happen.
As much as I *try* to take care of myself, I forget to take my vitamins every day, I don't get enough exercise, and I am a child care provider. What does this mean? I tend to get sick more than I like to. But not to worry. In the short term, I've been having spoonfuls of raw honey, drinking plenty of green tea and getting lots of rest. In the long term, I plan on fixing the vitamin and exercise problem. The daycare thing I'm kind of stuck with.

I've had a busy week. So what else is new! It's been a week of household projects and there have been quite a few. I've done some wallpapering, some painting and staining of furniture, some organizing of storage closets, and have been working on putting together a homeschool room out of the spare room in my house. I've also spent this week helping Vaeh and Gabe put together shoeboxes for the Samaritan's Purse: Operation Christmas Child program. Each year around the same time we fill shoeboxes full of goodies for less fortunate children in other countries and the children receive them by Christmas. Last year we did 2 shoeboxes, this year we did 4. I attempted to do 5 but I just couldn't get it done in time.



It has been a great experience doing this with my kids, and I'm hoping that I instill into them a heart for giving. I see it developing in Vaeh. For awhile Gabe seemed to think that I was filling up shoeboxes for him and got quite upset with me when I tried to tell him otherwise. I think he finally got it though as today he began filling up the 5th empty box we had with his own toys, saying he was filling his shoebox for kids. I think it's really important that we do things like this with our children, and show them there is more to life than ourselves. Not only did we shop for the items together, but we filled the boxes together, and while we filled the boxes we talked about the children who would get them. When the shoeboxes were ready to go, we prayed over them together that each shoebox would reach just the right child that was meant to have the items inside, and when it was time to drop the shoeboxes off at the church, we all carried them in. Even though they won't be able to see the end result of the children receiving the boxes, involving them in as much of the process as possible is a good start.

Well I will keep this post short and sweet, just like me, and get some more much needed rest. The hardest part for me with being sick is the not being able to get things done. Fingers crossed that changes quickly!

Nightynights
xo

A Pattern To Share and A New Plan

Ahhhhh, it's good to be getting back into the old swing of things. Writing here always makes me feel so good, it's a wonder how I can get too busy to do it. Hopefully that won't happen anymore.

I've been asked by a dear reader if there is a pattern available for the crocheted throw I made awhile back (it is actually a throw but I called it a blanket as I made it for Gabe and for his little body it's a blanket!) so I thought I would share with everyone in case others were curious and were wanting to make the throw as well. So here are all the fun details. There IS a pattern for it, but I followed it fairly loosely and changed it a tiny bit, such as not using the blue in it. The pattern is free and it can be found here. This was the first actual throw I've done so it is very beginner friendly. Any trouble I had I simply jumped on over to YouTube and searched for how-to videos on particular stitches I was having trouble with. YouTube is great for beginner knitters and crocheters. I highly recommend it! In the future I promise to share more details about what I'm working on so anyone who is interested can try it also. I'm actually in the process of crocheting another throw for my daycare girl who I will be giving it to for Christmas. I will share that in another post.

Something else I have been working on is a new plan for the house. I'm very big on lists and writing things down, and I've found that I am much more productive if I write down my goals for the day or for the short term. It really helps me organize my mind. If you are someone who tends to get flustered and overwhelmed like I do, try writing everything down. I am all about being more productive these days, especially with how busy I've been so today I started jotting some plans down for things I would like to change and/or implement. The list will no doubt grow, but for now I think it's a good start and I'm going to incorporate it into our days beginning today.

-Early to bed. This is something I have always struggled with, and something I know I need to work on changing. I've *always* been a night owl, but the problem with that is most days I don't have the luxury of sleeping in, and I'm one who absolutely needs at least 8 hours. 9 hours is the best case scenario and leaves me feeling totally rested and energized the next day, which equals me being much more productive. Starting tonight I'm going to try a 10:30 bedtime and see how that works out for me. If it enables me to get up earlier then I can also start my day with a personal and private Bible study, which is a great way to start the day.

-Get ready for bed. Yet another thing I struggle with. I'm very much in the habit of going to bed at what I think is an okay hour, and then lying awake for the next 60 minutes which actually puts my bedtime at an hour later than what I had intended when I went to bed in the first place. Instead, if I go actually get into bed a good 30 minutes before my intended bedtime, and do something like read or crochet or listen to music, I will wind down nicely and come my actual intended bedtime it will be much easier to fall asleep right away. My plan here is also to make sure that everything I need to get done after dinner, such as tidying up and the like, are done ahead of time so they aren't cutting in to my getting ready for bed. I will also do this with Vaeh, as she tends to stay up until about 10:30pm reading in her bed. Now I will tell her she can go to bed 30 minutes early and have reading time and then lights out, and if she doesn't choose to do that then it's lights out right at bedtime.

-Earlier dinner. In order to succeed with the first two things on my list, an earlier dinner time is necessary. A typical dinner time for us is between 6:30 and 7:00pm. My last daycare kiddie leaves at 6:00pm and that is usually when I start dinner. This has caused a lot of problems for us in the past, mainly because Gabe is a very slow eater. More often than not he is still eating at 8:00pm which is his bedtime. Starting today we are going to have dinner at 5:00pm and while we are eating my daycare kids can have a snack so they aren't feeling left out. By the time my last daycare child leaves we will be done dinner, and even if Gabe takes a bit longer to eat it won't matter. After that, my evening is free to finish other things up.

-Family worship. This is something I have heard many families do, but never tried it myself. We would read bedtime stories together when the kids bedtimes were at the same time (which used to be 8:30pm) but now that they have different bedtimes it has become harder to do story time. With family worship in the evenings, set at a time well before bed, we will curl up on the couch in front of a fire and I will either read from the Bible or read Bible stories to them and then we will have prayer time together. This one I am really excited about starting. Not only is it important to pray and worship with your family, but it is a special bonding time that I'm really looking forward to having.

-Weekly movie nights. As a family we watch quite a lot of movies together at home, but we don't have a scheduled movie night, so when our movie nights do happen they tend to happen spur of the moment and it ends up not being as enjoyable as it could be because things get forgotten and feel rushed. When we decide to watch a movie, we rush through dinner and then we're too full for popcorn during the movie, then we aren't sure which movie to watch and we just don't get settled, and before we know it the kids are up past their bedtime because it took us too long to get it together. A planned movie night will give us time to do just that, plan it. From time to time, if the movie is worth it in my opinion, we will venture out to the theater on our scheduled movie night.

-Chore charts/things to get done. In the morning I will sit down and write out (in the form of a list of course!!) what needs to get done each day and our goal will be to accomplish the things on that list first in our day. Each of us will have our own designated things that need to get done. I'll have to be a bit creative with Gabe, but I think this is a great way to instill responsibility in to them, and show them that we all need to work together to help things run smoothly in the house. I'm also going to do up a chore chart which I will make at the beginning of each week, where Vaeh and Gabe will have daily chores, or jurisdictions as the Duggars call them, that they will be responsible for. It will be small things such as sweeping the kitchen or tidying the bookshelf or getting together dirty laundry in the house. When they complete a jurisdiction they will get a reward certificate or slip that they will collect and can cash in with me each week or two. They will be able to cash them in for money to put in their piggy banks, or they can cash them in for a special activity that will have a designated slip value (ie: game night with their choice of game will cost 5 slips/certificates/dollars, whatever I call the reward, lol).

So that is what I have so far. I'm really eager to get on this as just reading it I feel a great sense of peace, that this is going to help immensely.
You may have noticed these last couple of posts have been quite picture-free. I've greatly neglected my poor camera along with everything else and have hardly taken any pictures these last few months. I'm making it a priority to take more pictures so not only can I tell you about what's happening around here, but I can also show you, because that is just a lot more fun. I'm also considering adding some video posts to the blog once in awhile. We will see how that goes.

xo

Ack! 3.5 Months!!

Yes folks, that, embarrassingly, is the last time I have posted on my blog. But wait!! I have a note from my Mom! Okay I don't, but I do have a really good excuse reason for my absence and all around neglect. It seems I have entered into a significantly busy season of life. As if being a single Mom wasn't busy enough. We did seem to be going at a good pace for awhile there, taking it easy and handling things as they come. That season has passed. I miss that season. To be honest, I think what happened was I had been putting off a lot of things and just focused on enjoying a slower pace. Those things that I've put off are now screaming to get done (more like I'm screaming at myself to do them) and I've gone into accomplish mode. Now that Autumn has arrived (which I'm ecstatic about as it's my favorite season!) classes have started up again for the kids and activities are abounding. Vaeh is back in dance class (hip hop again, of course) and is also now participating in a girls club at our new church (YES! We found a great church!! I'll have to share soon). She gets to hang out with a group of girls from grade 1 to grade 5 one night a week for an hour and a half where they sing songs, do crafts, bake, have sleepovers and grow in their relationship with God. It's fantastic and I'm so completely happy that she is fellowshipping with other girls and is making new friendships. *sigh*. That makes my heart content right there.
Gabe has been keeping me *extremely* busy with his turning 3 and not wanting to be a recognizably sweet child anymore. Maybe that's a bit over the top. He does still have his moments where he rubs my cheek and looks intently into my eyes, saying in the most adorable quiet voice "I love you Mommy. You know that?". The other moments of the day, I want to pull all of my hair out. Really. This boy has skipped the terrible two's altogether and has moved on to the terrible three's. I should have expected this, as Vaeh did the very same thing. At two she was the most perfect child, sweet and angelic. When she turned three she developed this attitude where when people would ask me how old she was I would say "Oh she's three, going on thirteen". When she turned four she snapped right back into sweetheart mode and has stayed that way ever since. I am hoping Gabe is the same. Boy am I ever. The last few weeks he has decided he no longer needs naps and most days doesn't have one. Mommy on the other hand, *knows* he needs naps because come 5pm he is running around the house throwing toys, hitting, not listening to anything I say, climbing on furniture, being mean to his sister and the daycare kiddies, and basically being the complete opposite of my sweet guy. *sniffle* My patience has been wearing very thin lately. I keep reminding myself this is just a season, just a stage, and for the most part that helps.

Once the weather started cooling and the fall rains began, I decided that being car-free and biking full time wasn't a completely viable option for us. We did great with it during the summer, and while it did have it's challenges (planning ahead a lot, weather issues, time constraints, travel distance limited, etc.), I'm glad we did it. Aside from the weather, I realized how unsafe I often felt being out with my kids. I've never had an experience to really justify my feelings here, but I felt very vulnerable. I like to think I live in a safe area, but there is stuff that goes on quite frequently around my neighborhood and the surrounding neighborhoods and for awhile they seemed to be escalating. I found myself looking over my shoulder a lot, and having worst-case-scenarios go through my head more than I cared for. With our activities that we have happening, and daylight savings time in the fall, I would very often be walking around in the dark which made me uncomfortable. Another factor was just the lack of proper cycling infrastructure. I couldn't get comfortable riding on the roads alone, let alone pulling the bike trailer, and drivers were showing that they just weren't happy with me being there either. After giving it some careful thought, I decided that this is probably just not the right time to be trying to do this, and perhaps I could give it a go when the kids are a bit older and we are all more experienced riders. So with that I put insurance back on my van and really haven't looked back. The second I got in the drivers seat after months of not driving, I instantly felt safe. Isn't that funny?? I mean, really, when you consider how unsafe vehicles are, the fact that I felt safe there is bizarre. Knowing that I wasn't going to be completely vulnerable anymore though, was a huge sigh of relief. I don't enjoy the costs associated with driving, but I am staying much closer to home these days which I figured out quickly how to do while we were biking everywhere, so I'm not spending as much as I very easily could.

So right now I'm at a place where I'm really enjoying getting things done, and feeling quite satisfied with my accomplishments, but I'm also fighting with myself to find time to rest and relax and do things I really enjoy not just stuff that *has* to get done. Once the kids go to bed it gives me time to have Bible study or read or crochet or just do whatever I feel like. It's really nice, but it's not nearly long enough!! I've been working on getting to bed earlier (no more of this 12am/1am business) and unfortunately that cuts into my very precious me-time. You want to know something though? I'm really making a point to enjoy every second of my crazy-chaotic-busyness though, because every night when I go to bed and I see my babies' sleeping faces it makes me miss this time even though it's still here. I know there will come a day when they will be old enough to not need me as much, or want to spend as much time with me. And then there's the day where they will be grown and moving on to their own lives. Just writing that is bringing tears to my eyes. As much as they can drive me crazy, pulling me in all directions, they *need* me. My job right now is to be their everything. Being a parent is a blessing from God ( Psalm 127:3-5) and I embrace that blessing everyday. I couldn't ask for a better job, or a better gift. So as much as I may complain, or as busy as I may get, I'm incredibly thankful. This season will pass soon enough and we will enter into a new one that is full of new experiences and new adventures and I will embrace that season just as I embrace this one.

With that I leave a promise to be back here often to update and share, and a super awesome video that has become my new theme song that a good friend of mine has ever so thoughtfully shared with me. Hope you enjoy it!

Time Away, Simplifying and Finished Projects

These last couple of weeks I decided to step back and take a bit of time away from all of the common day distractions that keep me so tied up time and time again. Mainly television and the computer. Instead of checking emails every 10 minutes, updating statuses every hour and watching garbage on TV, I dug into some wholesomeness and feel-good activities. Stuff I've really been needing mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I don't know about you, but I often feel so overwhelmed by all of the "stuff" out there that we all can't seem to live without these days. I find
myself anxious, flustered, stressed out and wired, like I've had too much coffee to drink. I really needed this. The first thing I did was grabbed my crochet hooks and got to work on a blanket for Gabe that I had been slowly piecing together. It was my first actual project and it took many, many, many hours to complete but once I did, wow. It felt fabulous. Working with my hands is so incredibly relaxing and therapeutic for me, so this was fantastic. Of course with crocheting being as addicting as it is, I also crocheted a produce bag and I'm working on a ring. Pictures to come. During the times when I am crocheting, Vaeh will put on a DVD of The Sound of Music and the three of us will cheerfully sing the songs together. Other times it will just be the sound of each of us doing our own thing together. Vaeh has been a very, very busy girl playing with her modelling clay, sculpting miniature watermelon and banana bunches for her miniature make-believe picnics in the park, or a row of hearts to show me "how much she loves me". The sound of creativity and fun is a much sweeter sound to fill the air then the sounds that come from the idiot box, as my Dad used to call it. I've been leaning closer and closer toward cancelling cable but I'm not quite there yet. In the meantime, long bouts of keeping it turned off is perfect.

After finishing Gabe's blanket I got motivated to do other things around the house that I've been meaning to get to. Namely, Vaeh's bedroom. Slowly but surely I've been working on each room of my house, painting and organizing, to put my touch on things and make my home as cozy and as reflective of me as possible. Not all rooms are completed, but I had done a lot of work on the living room, kitchen, powder room and my bedroom. I've been promising Vaeh a real bedroom for a few years now. When I was with my ex, we moved around so much because of his problems that Vaeh hasn't had a real bedroom. We never stayed anywhere long enough to decorate and make it her own. That really made me sad, especially since she wanted a room that was her own so badly. Every little girl wants a little girl room. The plan for her room was that she would share it with Gabe once he outgrew sharing my bed with me. Her room wouldn't comfortably accommodate two beds, so bunkbeds was the answer. I had an idea in my head of the type of bunkbeds I wanted to get for them but buying a new set was out of the question. I happened to be browsing Craigslist last week and low and behold, I found the perfect set. Thankfully I had a little money put away and I was able to get them. I don't have pictures to share yet but I will in the next few days. So with bunkbeds purchased, I picked out a paint color and got to painting their room. It took me all day to clear out their room, wash the walls, paint two coats of paint, let it dry and then assemble the beds, but it was so worth it. Doing things like this makes me really proud to be on my own. It makes me feel strong and completely capable of getting things done, feelings I didn't think I would have when I was just venturing out on my own as a single Mom. I'll be the first to admit that it does present a challenge, but it's not impossible. It's empowering. If you aren't being challenged, you aren't growing. Plain and simple. I'm incredibly grateful that I took the time to learn certain things throughout my life. I never left things like programming the DVD player, changing light fixtures in the house (involving rewiring), being tech savvy, home repair, etc., up to the guy. I always figured stuff out on my own (which is a big part of my personality) and it has helped me immensely.

Another thing I've been doing to create a little bit of mental peace is going grocery shopping early in the morning. Since we walk to the grocery store I decided it would probably be a good idea to do it earlier in the day. Traffic is calmer, the weather is cooler and the grocery store is near empty. Because I have daycare kiddies coming to my house in the morning I need to make sure we get home in time to welcome them. This is our shopping schedule:

-Leave home at 8:00am
-Get to store by 8:30am
-Shop until 9:00am
-Get home at 9:30am
-Welcome the kiddies around 10am

Some days I have kids arrive earlier than 10, so I plan our shopping trips to fall on days where they aren't coming until 10. This has worked out really, really well. The walking has been great, especially shortly after waking up. We typically don't have breakfast until we come home as I've found walking on an empty-ish stomach just feels better, in the daytime anyway. A walk after dinner feels great too. Shopping in a large grocery store that is almost empty is INCREDIBLE. I can't stand the lineups and chaos of packed stores, which is mostly why I avoid going to malls and shopping in general unless necessary. I have a very sensitive personality (see here and here about being highly sensitive) and things affect me more than the average person. It took me a long while to understand this, and now that I do I embrace it and love that I am highly sensitive. I don't always take care of this side of me though, and more often then not I get caught up in life and things and forget this very important part of me and before I know it I'm completely frazzled and overwhelmed. This will be something I work on for sure.

So I'm working on cutting back on things. A lot. I need more peace in my life and more things that stimulate me emotionally. I've committed to only checking emails twice a day, with the hopes to reduce that further to once a day in the near future. I'm working on reducing my aimless internet browsing to only looking up specific things when the need arises. This alone has cut back on my computer usage immensely. I only visit my Facebook page every other day or so and I've even gone as far as cleaning up my friends list, removing "friends" that I don't talk to regularly, if at all. So far I've removed almost half of my friends list, and I plan to do more. Simplifying to me isn't about making things easier. In fact, simplifying your life can be harder in the beginning, but it does get easier. Even exciting. Living simply is about cutting back and decluttering. Whether that be in your home, your office, your schedule, your mind, activities you participate in, your wardrobe, whatever. The old adage of "less is more" couldn't ring more true. And once you see the benefits of cutting back and/or organizing and/or decluttering one area of your life, you'll want to do more because it feels so good. I plan on doing much more.

Day 1.5 of Being Car-Lite

So I suppose I cheated a little bit. I know I told you that I was taking my van off the road on the 20th, today, but it turned out I ended up taking it off the road yesterday.

I took the kids to see Toy Story 3 as planned and my Mom came along with us. She enjoys coming out to the movies with us and really gets into the 3D part of it so I put out an invite to her and she happily accepted. It ended up costing me quite a bit more than I had initially expected. Turns out they didn't accept the half off admission pass I had on weekends, nor do they accept it on opening weekends for a new movie. Bummer. So whatever, I said okay to the cashier and said we want to see the 3D one as they offer both the regular and 3D versions at the theater, and 3D kicks butt. "Okay", says the cashier, "that will be 3 dollars extra for each person". Ouch. So my ticket cost $14.99, Vaeh's ticket cost $11.99, Gabe was free and my Mom paid for her ticket (thank goodness!). I have a bad habit of needing to buy junk food while at the movie. I can't enjoy a movie at all unless I'm munching on popcorn and chocolate. I get mad at myself every time because I know I shouldn't  be buying food at the theater. It costs a small fortune for just a snack. I never learn though. I HAVE, mind you, changed the way I purchase said snacks. Instead of individual drinks for me and the kids, I get a large iced tea and we share. I also get a large popcorn for us to share, and one (sometimes 2) bag of chocolatey goodness. While this still costs quite a bit (almost $20 for those items, with a 10% discount using a Scene card) it is cheaper than if we went crazy and each got what we wanted. A kids pack, which consists of a small popcorn, drink, chocolate Kinder egg and toy, is $7.99. This is why we don't go very often. Here's a tip though: if going to a movie, go after eating. Pick a movie time that is after lunch or dinner, or even after you've had a large snack. You won't be as tempted to indulge yourself while at the theater. Another tip is to bring your own, much cheaper snacks you bought at the store. Technically it's not allowed (no outside food or drink in the theater) but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

After the movie (which was AWESOME!!! Definitely go see this movie if you are a Disney/Pixar fan!!) we headed home. I figured since my Mom was with us, it would make sense to have her watch Vaeh and Gabe while I whipped down to the insurance agency on my bike. So I did just that. As lovely and flat as my neighborhood is, it was a lot of work to ride. I haven't been on a bike in so long (17 years!) and I really didn't realize it would be that difficult. While I was riding it wasn't so bad, but when I got back home I was completely wiped out. Granted I did have to try 3 different insurance agencies because they all closed at 4pm on Saturdays so I did quite a bit of riding my first day. I should have taken it a bit easier and gone on some short trips beforehand, just to get back into the swing of things. If you are at all considering doing more bike riding in your near future, please take my advice and work your way into it.

I really should take my own advice too. That would be wise. After yesterday I guess I figured I would do better today and pushed myself a bit further. Okay, what I thought was a bit further ended up being way too much. I had to make a trip to the bank this afternoon, and because Vaeh isn't good on her bike yet, I didn't want to have her ride that far (about 3km's round trip) so her and Gabe hopped into our new bike trailer (which I bought yesterday). Let me say that I am almost always excellent with putting together and installing things, but for some reason getting the trailer attached to my bike was a pain in my bottom! I finally got it, but somehow managed to pull a muscle in the base of my neck and upper back. Oooh man it hurts. Anyway. The kids got in the trailer, I got on my bike and off we went to the bank. It was really easy to pull them and I really didn't feel them until I had to pedal even slightly uphill. I took a spin around the neighborhood to make sure I could handle it, and had to stop a couple of times to catch my breath. I'm so out of shape it's quite sad. I actually thought I was in okay shape, but after today I feel like Homer Simpson. Since I absolutely had to go to the bank I knew I couldn't just turn back and go home so off we went. I went right for it and rode on the road, even though I was very unsure about doing this and it made me very nervous thinking about it. Once I had seen the size of the bike trailer after it was put together, it looked like a Smart Car in my living room.

That's a picture of me getting ready to hook the trailer on to my bike. Okay it's not. But that's how it felt. I knew there was no way I was managing this thing on a sidewalk. I'd be pitching kids and seniors 15 feet in each direction as I rode.
I stuck to roads that were minimal in traffic and steered clear of busy areas, except for the complex my bank is in. Things went very, very well. Cars kept their distance and weren't screaming profanities at me as I had pictured them doing. The kids were squealing with joy in the trailer and having the best time. I had to stop about a million times because I got winded, even on the lowest gear on my bike, but I managed to stop whenever I needed to without any problems. Going into the bank complex was a bit scary because I had to use arm-turn-signals and all that foreign-to-me stuff. I know all the gestures, it was just weird doing them. In the bank complex I had to tend with speed bumps and a lot of traffic but we made it. I even went through the drive-through atm at the bank. It was fun. After I (finally) got home I almost collapsed. I'm not even kidding. As soon as I got off my bike my legs stiffened up and I could hardly bend them. I opened the front door to my house and instantly I wanted to throw up. I've never felt like that before. I needed to lay down so badly, but I had to get the kids out of the trailer, unhook it from my bike and collapse it so I could bring it in the house (it's too wide for my front door, and too big for my teeny foyer) and then I had to bring my bike in. After all of that, I flopped down on the couch and didn't want to move. I was moaning and whimpering and acting like a big ol' baby. It was pathetic. I asked Vaeh to bring me a cold, wet cloth for my forehead and Gabe came and laid down on top of me trying to comfort me. I felt better really quickly, but the kids felt so bad for me that they decided to step up and take charge. Gabe got off of me and tidied up the living room. He put all the toys away without me asking or even suggesting. Vaeh insisted on rubbing my feet and sat down at the end of the couch and did just that. She even massaged my calves. When Gabe was done tidying up he came back to me and showered me in kisses. I was all better. My kids are phenomenal. They know how to melt me :)

Now I feel fine, just my neck is killing me. I can't believe I pulled a muscle installing a bike trailer. So lame.
So folks, please learn from my mistakes and take it easy when starting something new. Never in my life have I pushed myself to the point of wanting to throw up. After all of that though, I don't miss using my van. I was worried that at first I would miss the convenience of jumping in and going wherever I needed to, but so far that's not the case. I've made it through my first day (and a half) and so far so good.

This message has been brought to you today by the letter OUCH.

Cycling is Hard!

And I haven't even gotten started yet! I've spent the last week doing research. Yes, research. On bike riding. Gone are the days where you just hop on a bicycle and ride to your hearts content. No my friend. There are rules. Rules aplenty! One thing I did know was that here in BC it is a requirement by law to wear a helmet while cycling. After doing a little reading on the topic, I was led to one law after another after another. It's almost become overwhelming, and I can honestly see why so many people don't bother to park their car and hop on a bicycle. That, and the requirements seem downright scary. For example, cyclists are considered vehicles and are therefore required to ride on the road with traffic. It is illegal to ride on the sidewalk. Period. I get why this law was put into place, and it would make sense if there weren't so many flaws with it. One major flaw is the serious lack of separate bike lanes which I feel is very very important. The way our roads are designed here are for the most part ridiculous on their own, and adding a cyclist to the mix I think is crazy. Another thing is not all cyclists are hardcore cyclists. For many, the idea of riding a bike on a major roadway next to crazy, road raging monsters is just too much. I am one of those people. Yes, it has a lot to do with the fact that I haven't been on a bike since I was 13 years old. When I rode a bike there were no helmet laws and nobody gave a you-know-what if you rode on the sidewalk. That was where EVERYBODY rode. Well, except for those hard-core-er's. So coming into this is, well, a bit daunting to say the least. The other thing I have an issue with, is that my children are required by law to do the same thing, ride in traffic. Gabe will be in a trailer but even that scares me. He would be down near the ground with a front row seat of huge tires rolling right by him. Ummmmm. Yeah. Scary. Then there is Vaeh. My little 7 year old, dainty little flower girl, is required to ride her bike alongside traffic. NO. WAY. I'm sorry but law or no law, I'm not allowing my babies to be that close to cars whipping by. I keep getting these images flashing through my head of her hitting a bump or just losing control and falling off her bike. Bam. No more Vaeh. So if it comes down to me getting a ticket because my daughter, or all 3 of us are on the sidewalk, so be it. I'm sorry to anyone who is reading this that is an avid rider but the safety of my children are way more important than any law out there, especially when that law is actually putting them in harms way. Until there are more cyclists on the road, and until there is more infrastructure in place keeping a solid barrier between a cyclist and a car, you will find me and my family ever so carefully, respectfully and politely making our way past pedestrians on the sidewalk. Now, all of that said, I do plan on planning our routes ahead of time every time we go out so we aren't taking major roadways and instead finding paths through parks, down "dead-end" (to cars) roads and on traffic calmed streets to get to our destination. I just think it really sucks that there isn't much carefreeness (yes, it's a word) to our society, and we are all bogged down with so many rules. I know there are people who are pro-alltherules but I'm not. Sorry. But, I'm going to make the most of things because at least I am able to bike ride where I live, and do it for free. Who knows how long that will last.

On a very positive note, I bought a bike!!! I don't have any pictures yet
but I will share some soon, I promise. I'm waiting for a nice sunny day to take it outside and snap some pictures. It's been raining here for 752 days. Okay maybe not that many. It feels like it though. I found my bike on Craigslist for half the price it would be new, and my bike is only 6 months old. I think I totally lucked out finding it. My bike new in the store would be $800 including tax. No thank you. Factor in the fact that I am boycotting the HST as much as I possibly can, as it is already in effect on certain items, and I am one of many who are against it. So by buying my bike used I managed to avoid it. Yay me! Next thing I need to get is a trailer for Gabe. I've been browsing Craigslist and saw a few on there that I would like, and after doing my research on the best trailer to buy, I settled on a Croozer 535. Ideally I would LOVE to have a Chariot trailer (*drool*) but those puppies require one to take out a second mortgage on their house. Given that Gabe is already 2.5, he's only got a couple more years before he's out of a trailer and on to a bike of his own, or a trail-a-bike. The investment in a Chariot just isn't worth it to me, even for a used one. A Croozer is a close second to a Chariot, in my opinion, and about half the price. For the trailer I really wanted to buy a used one, again to avoid tax and to save money, but after seeing how old some of the trailers are that people are trying to sell, and after going to look at one in person and seeing how beat up it was, I decided I should go new in this area. Gabe's safety is the most important thing, and I don't want him riding around on bent wheels, and attachment wheels that no longer function. Both of those were problems with the one I looked at. And I don't know if the person I'm buying from put it together properly either! The Croozers are great because they come with all of the different attachments included, Chariots and other models you have to purchase each kit separately (ie: jogging stroller kit, stroller kit, etc.). That equals more money on top of an already expensive item. We're all about saving money here people. So I'm saving my pennies and hope to purchase this trailer in the next couple of weeks, just in time for the Teddy Bear Picnic that is coming up! I can't wait for summer. Mostly I can't wait for the rain to stop.

It's About Time

I've really been trying to set aside time to sit down and update my blog, but that has been such a challenge! It's always one thing after another and the next thing I know, months have passed.

A lot has happened. A lot has changed. A lot has been going on. I began dating someone and a short time later it ended. I was pretty upset about it for awhile because it was a total whirlwind romance and was beyond anything I could have ever asked for. It obviously wasn't meant to be though, and even though it was very short, I learned a lot about myself. Shortly after that I started having issues with my church. I was seeing signs of teaching going on that was not Biblically based and not true. I had a really tough time dealing with that and wasn't sure how to handle it. I had gotten planted there, met a ton of great people, I was taking my Bible college course there, my kids loved the children's church and I didn't want to give it up. At the same time, I was very scared that I was being misled without even realizing it, and in turn so were my kids. If you aren't well educated in Biblical studies, doctrine and theology, it's not hard to be misled. I don't believe the church I attended was misleading people on purpose. I truly feel like they are uneducated, and listening to other "teachers" who are uneducated. I decided the best thing to do would be to not walk, but run away. As hard as it was at first, I know I made the right decision. Doing that freed up a lot of time for me, and I realized then just how much I had been getting involved in and slowly overwhelming myself. Because of my Bible course I was required to serve 20 hours per month at the church. That may not seem like a lot, but if you consider that I live 45 minutes away (in each direction), how often I was having to go back and forth, how much it was costing me to do so, and how much more kept getting added to my serving plate, then factor in non-church related commitments we had, it was a lot. And I still wasn't even meeting my 20 hours of service time. Serving was becoming a burden, and I kept getting told by church staff that it is our duty as Christians to serve. But isn't it supposed to be with a joyful heart? I just wasn't there. And I think that's okay! I can't do everything, especially as a single parent. I started to realize that maybe my job right now is to just be a Mom. That is the season of life I'm in right now so I need to embrace it and do the best I can. Before I know it, this season will change and my kids won't need me as much as they do. I want to make the most of the time I have with them now, and train them in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). Lord knows how quickly they grown up.

After all that happened with my church, I began looking for a new church, and one close to home. I think I have found one, but I haven't attended it yet so I don't have any comments to share about it. I did email the Pastor there and found out that he has been to seminary which I've learned is VERY important. I had never considered before if my Pastor was actually educated. I guess I just assumed that with having the title "Pastor" they would have had to complete some sort of education. This isn't so, and this is what I find frightening. How can you TEACH the Bible if you don't know it yourself? The Bible needs to be studied in order to be taught. I honestly feel a little bit burned, a little ripped off by my old church, so I'm taking a bit of a church vacation. I will attend this church close to home soon.

Now that I'm not making anymore trips into the city where my church was, I've found that I've not been driving much anymore. The city that I live in is, in my opinion, amazingly well planned and almost every single thing that I need to survive is within 2km's of my home. Lately we will go out to get groceries or pay a bill and that's about it. We've been doing this routinely about once a week. As I was reflecting on this significant change in my life, I started thinking. The first thought was that I was no longer impressed with how much money I was paying to use a vehicle 1-2 times a week. I'm lucky that my vehicle is paid off, but the costs of insurance and gas made my infrequent usage bother me. Gas prices keep rising steadily, and our government has also planted their hands deep in gas users pockets with taxes on the gas (somewhere around the 36% mark). The government has also implemented a carbon tax that increases each year for four years and started last year. For someone like me, a single parent who doesn't make much money, driving has definitely become a luxury, and a pain in the ass. Granted that with me driving less it means spending less on gas, but it's still money that I have to put out that I don't want to put out anymore. I also drive a minivan that is a hog on gas. The idea popped into my head that I could bike ride everywhere. Then the idea came to me that I should bike ride everywhere. Why didn't I think of this sooner?! All I would need is a good bike, a bike trailer to tow around Gabe, and Vaeh could ride her bike. If I got a 2 seater trailer I could put groceries in beside Gabe. I could then take the insurance off of my van, park it and start saving money. By hanging on to the van instead of selling it, it's there in case of absolute emergency and it's also there for the winter. This is the perfect time to tinker with such an experiment being that we are heading into summer. Right now I'm looking for a good used bike and trailer on Craiglist and once my tax refund comes we are getting started! The kids are super excited to do this, and so am I. I heard from somewhere once that the most dangerous part of a car is the seat. So many of us live planted on our couches, in office chairs, or in the seat of our cars and aren't being anywhere near as active as we should be. That's about to change for us. Pretty soon we will be a car-lite family and we'll actually be out and about in our community, not locked away in a vehicle or in the house all the time! You will probably be reading a lot about this as we move forward in this journey and I will share with you as much as I possibly can. Life is all about The Journey, The Adventure. Lets get out there and try something new! It will be uncomfortable at first not having a vehicle at my disposal, that I know. Trying a new thing is almost always uncomfortable, but it's in that discomfort where growth is born and if you aren't growing, you aren't living. Don't you agree? ♥

Last Day

Well, today is officially the last day I will be 28. Tomorrow I turn 29 and will begin my last year as a twenty-something. If the next year is anything like the last couple of months have been, then I am so excited to see what the year brings.

Today I had an awesome day! I started my journey of baking and it was a ridiculous amount of fun. My first project was a yeast bread. It was a little intimidating at first as I've never even used yeast before, let alone bake any type of bread. It was a bit of a process, with having to let the dough rise not once but twice, and I'm just a little bit of an impatient person, but it was so worth the wait!

Here is my beautiful dough after mixing and a bit of kneading.

 Here it is all puffy and gorgeous after it's first rise.

Here Vaeh is punching it down, getting it ready for rolling and putting it into the pan for it's second rise.

And here it is, in all of it's baked, crusty, soft, golden brown glory.

I'm so incredibly proud of myself. If you've never baked bread before, you must try it. The sense of accomplishment after you take it out of the oven is HUGE. 

During the periods of rest for the dough to rise, I decided to make some granola in between those pauses. Granola is a very inexpensive thing to make and it's good to have on hand for snacking or for cereal. I didn't put much into this, I just used what was on hand; oats, ground flax, salt, cinnamon, melted butter and honey. 

This is a picture just before going into the oven.

And this is after coming out.

 

I'm definitely going to keep this up. My house has never smelled so heavenly, and for whatever reason, all this baking happening today made me go to town cleaning my house. So now I'm relaxing on the couch with my feet up, enjoying the delicious smell of freshly baked bread, along with the faint aroma of cinnamon, my house is organized and I get to share my wonderful day with all of you. It's a very good day. 

Tomorrow my birthday-day will start off with waking to a tidy house (how great is that?!) and then I plan on baking one of my favorite cakes; the pineapple upside down variety :) I found an interesting recipe for baking this in a crock pot and it's kind of piqued my interest. I'm doing a very basic version of it, not going too fancy, in case it totally bombs. That way I won't be so upset about it. After that I'll probably just relax at home (as much as I can while working) and at some point go and renew my drivers license and pay my cell phone bill. I know what you are thinking. My life is so glamorous. Please don't be jealous. Really. It's not very becoming.

So that is the plan. If anything changes I will be quite surprised, and it takes a lot to surprise me. So long 28! You've been good to me and started me off on a path I really never saw coming. To 29: you have some big shoes to fill, but I have no doubt in my mind that you will exceed my expectations.

Whew!

Wow, it's been a crazy time around here. I can't believe I spent this long not posting here, but it was necessary. Once things started getting back on track after Gabe's bout with croup, we got hit with another wave of ickyness. We are beginning to get over it now, whatever it was, but it's still affecting me quite a bit. I have been really tired and not feeling myself at all and that part of it is hanging on. I'm thankful though that when we do get sick, which isn't all that often, we bounce back fairly quickly. I attribute that to our diet and basically taking good overall care of ourselves. It does make a difference. I will apologize in advance if any of this post doesn't make much sense. I'm still a little foggy, lol.

Tomorrow marks the end of term 2 in my Bible college class and term 3 begins next week. I'm loving every minute of it. I'm learning so much and making some great friends, and of course strengthening my relationship with God. I can't believe how far I was from Him just a short time ago, and now I'm closer than I've ever been. I've been able to accomplish so many things through Him and with His guidance, it's amazing. Truly amazing. I look back on the last year and I was just a mess, especially after ending the relationship with my ex. I didn't realize how co-dependent I had become on my ex until I left. The first time I had to go to a grocery store alone with the kids was absolutely terrifying for me. I was even scared to drive. I was so far removed from myself during that 7 year relationship that I spent much of my time at home, in solitude with my children. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone in the real world. I became so insanely shy, even talking to a bank teller or cashier was excruciating for me and affected me for days afterward. I would never go places or do things on my own. Ever. I always had to have someone with me, and that was on the rare occasion that I left the house. My life was in shambles. I wouldn't go to church because 1) I had to do it alone, and 2) I was horribly ashamed of my life, so I just didn't go. I look at my life now and I'm such a different person. I'm out, getting a life that I never had but always wanted. I'm meeting people, learning new things, making HUGE changes and stepping out of my comfort zone time and time again. Fear still grips me in almost everything that I do, but I press through it. I lived in fear for far too long and I won't let it have control over me anymore. It still has a voice, true, but not control. I've even started the process of auditioning for the worship team (singing) at my church. I've always wanted to sing but never had the confidence. This is a different girl!! I know none of this would have been possible without the strength of God in me.

I've recently decided to hold off on my studio re-do and I've contacted a homestay organization in the hopes of hosting a foreign student. Not only will this help my finances (things are VERY tight!) but I think it would be a great experience for the kids. I had an interview with one organization in particular and hopefully I will hear something from them soon. I figure since I already do so much of my crafting at my kitchen table, why not use my office for something that will be of a great help. I'm working on making some more changes in the areas of finances, meal/menu planning and smart shopping. So far I've managed to cut my grocery bill from around $500 a month to around $350 a month, but I know I can do better than that so I' m working on it. I will post about these changes soon, as they happen.

A few weeks back I watched the movie Julie & Julia and was completely inspired to do more cooking and baking. I have such a strong desire to make things from scratch, bake treats with the kids and create meals that make those who eat them close their eyes in pure enjoyment. I love how great meals bring people together and represent wonderful family moments and gatherings. I love how home-made baked treats make children eagerly sit in front of the oven licking their lips, and make them silently giggle while they eat them, filling up with the love that the baker put into them. I have a lot of wonderful memories of family meals and I want to experience those with my own children. It may take me awhile to start this "new" tradition here but I will keep you posted on every moment of it.

So that's it for now. I'm tired and should get some much needed rest. The kids and I were up at 5am this morning as I am helping out at my church every Sunday for the month of March. A bunch of us are making breakfast for the early morning service team and then we all sit down and eat together before service begins. It's such a lovely time, but it makes for a very tired Me come Sunday afternoon. I'm not a morning person at all. I'm not a grump, it just affects me a lot physically when I wake up too early.

Goodnight everyone! Bye for now ♥

My Big Moment

Last Saturday, January 30th, was a big day for me. It was a life changing day and truly one I will never forget. Last Saturday I was baptized. I won't go into details of my testimony because it is very long, but since this blog is about me and my life, I thought this was definitely something worthy of sharing. It was a big decision for me to get baptized and one that I did not take lightly. I grew up as a Christian but never had been baptized. I'm glad I waited. Not only was it an incredibly moving experience, it was very overwhelming. At my church, my Pastor likes to baptize several people at once, kind of make it an occasion. After taking a 30 minute class we are all called up on stage during church service and each of us is to give our testimony. Out loud. On stage. Into a microphone. Gulp. I had NEVER spoken in public, or even into a microphone in my life, and it was one of my biggest fears. I was shaking and kept arguing with myself that I couldn't do it, yes I could, no I couldn't, yes I could. I had no time at all to prepare, thinking my Pastor would just ask one or two to speak. As the microphone slowly made it's way down to me, after incredibly moving testimonies were spoken bringing me to tears just hearing others stories, it landed in my hands. I was shaking. I was terrified. I remember the first thing I thought was that it was heavier than I imagined. The next thing I thought, 'Oh my gosh, I have to speak now. HELP!!!'. My parents and sister looked on, along with the rest of the congregation and I just opened my mouth. I nervously introduced myself, gave my testimony and then did my best to hold back tears as I finished. Wow that was hard. I passed the microphone to the next person and instantly felt relieved. And then the strangest feeling came over me. I wanted to do it again. WHAT?! I did not just think that. Yep. I wanted to do it again. I loved it! I conquered a major fear I have struggled with my whole life and now it's behind me. I can totally do it again.
After our testimonies were shared, we lined up to the baptism tank and one by one, we were baptized. All 7 of us. Strangers an hour prior. Now connected like never before. It was incredible. It all happened so fast, but I do remember taking in every moment. The temperature of the water, what the Pastor said to me, how long I was under the water for, coming up, wiping my eyes, turning and facing the church and throwing my hands up in the air. I did it.
I've spent the last week sort of reflecting, and realizing the huge leaps and bounds I've taken the last few months in my life because of my faith. It has been an amazing journey and I can't wait to see what is in store for me next. Bring it on!!!

Good Old Fashioned Wholesomeness

Last weekend, in celebration of Vaeh's birthday, we made a visit to the Kids Only Market on Granville Island. It's one of her most favorite places in the world and it's become a bit of a tradition for her birthday that we spend the day there. A couple of years ago I gave Vaeh the option to either have a party, invite kids and do the whole party thing or just go somewhere fun and spend the day together as a family. She chose the latter and a new tradition emerged. I'm a little against traditional birthday parties for several reasons so I was elated that she was on board. I'm sure her ideals will change as she grows older, but for now I'm loving the way we celebrate. My favorite part about the Kids Only Market is that they have all these neat little stores that carry really cool traditional type, quality, wholesome toys. Part of our tradition is that she picks out a special birthday gift while at the market. This year we cheated a little bit and picked out more than one, but they are small and can be enjoyed by all 3 of us so we snuck in a few more. As you can see from the picture, she picked out bells, a harmonica and a kaleidoscope along with a wooden birdhouse making kit and a garden tool kit. To me you don't get much more wholesome than that. She so takes after me. I would've picked all of those as well. We are blessed in the fact that because we are registered homeschoolers through a certain organization, we get a learning investment which is an allotment of funds dispersed throughout the year to be used toward the cost of educating and providing supplies to the learner. All of the items Vaeh picked from the market fall under the category of learning so they were no cost to me. I love when that happens. Especially when you take into account the changes I'm working on, that learning invesment is incredibly helpful.

A few weeks before our day at the Market I was browsing the free section on Craigslist and found an ad from a husband and wife photography team looking to expand their portfolio and offering free photo shoots for the first 5 people to respond to the ad. I happened to be quick enough and managed to get myself a free photo shoot. Before we went to the Market we had our pictures taken, journalistic style (my favorite) at Kitsilano Beach. I'll talk more about this in another blog post.

It definitely was a great day. We've been working hard on our harmonica/bells jam sessions and I think we're improving. But that would depend on who you ask. Just make sure it's not my neighbor :)